How do I explain it part 1

I am 42 and recently split with my husband of 20 years, We weren't in any sort of a terrible relationship, I just didn't love him anymore and found I had zero sex drive which was causing resentment and fights so I decided it would be better to be apart.
My ex husband fought me on it and he really did offer every solution he could think of but...Nothing seemed to be able to change how I felt so I went this route but now it seems one incident changed everything. My ex moved out about 2 months ago and some friends invited me to a large outdoor, Multi day concert that I have been to before, Basically we go every year so it was a no brainer and I went.
Night two we were tearing it up pretty good and my BFF wanted to go to the "Party side" of the campground, Against my better judgment we wandered over there and stopped to visit one of her friends, My BFF and I have been besties since college and live 6 hours apart but we talk daily and some times multiple times a day so we do have our own friend groups but are 100% best friends. Anyway we top to visit these friends and then carry on to another group and then one more, My BFF has been divorced for 4 years and sometimes makes some questionable decisions but who am I to judge or say anything.
At the second campsite she had disappeared behind the camper with a dude and came back all smiles so as we headed to the third site she told me he was a one time hook up and had been trying to convince her to stay at his camper, At the third site she told me she was going for a quick walk with another dude so I laughed and said "Ya, Ok, Just make sure to come back", I knew people at the first and second sites but not at the third however they all seemed cool and I was having fun. I was drunk, Like borderline unsafe to be walking back alone so when I felt it was time to leave I texted my BFF and she replied surprisingly, She said "Ok, I'll catch up" and when I said I was going back to the camper the girl I had been talking to asked where it was, I told her our section and she asked if we could walk together so she could go see friends in the section next to where my camper was parked and we had been having a good time talking so I said "sure".
We walked and walked and soon I stopped and looked around, I looked at her ad said "Fuuuck me, I'm lost", We both laughed at our drunken stupidity and wandered the direction we thought we should go, Eventually we found our way and stopped by her friends site, No one was awake so we carried o to my site and by the time we got there we had drank all of our pocket beers and we had quite a few, I offered her one from my fridge and we sat down, We drank our beers and I said "There is no way you are gonna fid your way back so just stay here", She nodded and said "Ya, I'll be dead in a ditch if I try to walk back alone". We went inside and I offered her a pair of my shorts and a t-shirt to sleep in, We were in the master bedroom and I just undid my pants and dropped them, Stepped into my shorts and with her standing across the bed she did the same, I didn't even think about it and pulled my shirt off, Took off my bra and put on my t-shirt and put on my t-shirt to sleep in, I don't know why but I like clean clothes for sleeping and the clothes I had on had been all over the campground. I was getting my side of the bed ready and hadn't even thought about it but expected her to sleep in one of the bunks at the back, I went to the bathroom ad pee'd then came back and she was laying in the bed, I said "Oh...Uhhh...Ok" and crawled into my side of the bed.
We laid there ad talked for a little bit and then she leaned over and kissed me...I froze and she said "You're so cute", I said "Ahem..Uh, thank you, You're gorgeous" and then she kissed me again, I had never been full on with a woman but had kissed women before, I don't even know why but I kissed her back and then we kissed a bit more and blah, Blah, Blah...I know it doesn't matter but everyone is gonna want to know so...I am 43, 5 foot 4 inches,Brunette, Blue eyes, 130lbs and have small, Natural, Saggy A/B cups, I call them a B but in reality my B cup bras are not filled and have had 4 kids but...Not a single stretch mark. She is 5 foot 6 inches, Blonde, Blue eyes 140 ish pounds and has natural DD cups.
Thigs progressed and as she slid her hand down my stomach headed toward my waist band I said "I have never...", She shrugged and said "Me neither but...We could" and then kissed me again. Sorry guys, Not gonna get all detailed but I will say she has a wonderful body, A great personality and her energy is very attractive. We spent about an hour if I had to guess exploring each other and I don't usually orgasm when drunk but she got me to twice and her first was pretty wild, I licked her inner thigh and took a deep breath, In my head I was like "Ok, either do it or don't" and I did, As soon as my tongue touched her vagina she moaned and tensed up, She whispered "Go slow" and I just slowly ran my tongue over her inner labia that stick out just a little and she started shaking Got super wet and moaned. I didn't know if I should stop or keep going, I like a little break in between but after she finished she sat up and wanted to do the ole 69 position so we did, She was on bottom and we were laying like sideways on the bed, We both came like that, Her first and then I sat up and she really went for it, I was really shy to come like that but I couldn't stop it and did, She says she really enjoyed it so I guess it was a win...No, Not squirting just came a lot.
We drifted off to sleep cuddling and woke up the next morning, We had a bit of an awkward morning coffee and then she left after we exchanged numbers.
I was sitting outside having coffee ad the door of the camper opened, I looked over and my BFF was standing in the door way, I was like "Uhh...When did you...How did you...WTF?, When did you go in the camper?", She said "uuuhhh...About 15 minutes before you did", I literally choked on my coffee and spit it out, I said "Last night?", She nodded and stepped out of the camper followed by my other good friend, I was like "WTF? why are you...What?", She said "Uhh...Shelly (Her sister) was getting it o with a dude in our camper so I came here".
We all stared at each other for a minute and I just wanted to cry, My BFF finally said "Ok...Sooo...Ya, lets move on", We had a super awkward coffee and fially my friend said "Ok...Fuck it...What the fuuuuck", I said "Oh god, I know, I don't even, I can't explain it...It just happened", My BFF said "who was that", I said "Her name is ******, She walked me home from the last site we were at, My BFF explained that she got back 15 minutes before me and my other friend was already there so they just laid there and talked, They heard us come in and she said she was just about to get out of bed and come talk to me when they heard us kiss and tell each other we were pretty. She said they basically laid there staring at each other and listened to the whole thing, I was so embarrassed and then my other friend said she couldn't resist and opened the door to the bunk room and both of them could see us 69 and watched the end of it.
I said "Hold on...Wait...You both watched?", My BFF said "Hey...Ok, I don't have a response but ya...We watched". There was a ton of questions ad finally Shelly showed up so it was put on the back burner, We went to the concert that night and I did run into ****** and we talked a bit, She apologized for not texting me or something and I said it was ok, We ended up hanging out a bit and fially got to be alone, She asked if we were "Anything" and I asked what she meant, She said "Well, We exchanged numbers and well...We had sex...I don't know", She is from the same city as my BFF so I said "Well, I don't know, we live 6 hours apart" and she said "Soo...Was it just a hook up? Because I would like it to be more", I said "I'll be honest, It was my first time and I still haven't really evaluated how I feel about it", She said "Ok...Can we hang out tonight, Like just as friends?", I said "Ya, Of course, I mean I love you as a person" so we did, We went to the beer gardens, Hung out and whatever and then my BFF came up and said "I just want to say that I am staying with April and Shelly tonight sooo...Ya", And walked away.
Me and ****** snuck out and went to the camper, Spent the night together and in the morning my BFF had her chair strategically placed to be able to watch the front door of my camper, ****** left and I went over for coffee and she just smiled at me and said "Ya know what" I could feel my face turn red and hot and she said "Good for you...really...Good for you", I said "Oh quit" and she said "I mean it". We didn't talk about it because everyone else was around.
See part 2.

Jul 27
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    • Amazing confession. Have written part two yet?

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