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Something me and my bff cousin did
So, im 18 and my bff who's also my cousin is 18 too, turning 19 next month. We still live with our parents and go to same school. We've been besties since we can even remember, we share everything and do everything together. She's my mothers sisters daughter and they're also our neighbors so our families are close.
We usually talk alot about boys we like and who's hot and not in our school but lately she's been acting weird, she's been slapping my butt alot and telling me how cute my butt is multiple times, im quite thin and flat chested, so once she told me that she thinks flat chest on a girl is sexy.
So, last tuesday she stayed at my place, it was like 11pm, my parents were alseep, we were in our underwear. We were on my sofa, backs against armrests like facing eachother. We were both in our laptops, surfing facebook and laughing about stuff. Then at one moment i hear moanings from her computer, she laughed and showed me some porn clip, some guy was banging some girl, she said she accidentally opened it, which i doubt. But we laughed and commented it, then she asked if i want to watch more porn, i thought why not, i watch porn sometimes, might as well watch it with her. She placed her laptop on the table in front of sofa and started surfing through clips, at first it was guys banging girls, but then she clicked on a video with two girls making out, i asked why did she click on this, she laughed again and said that one girl looked familiar and she wanted a closer look, which i could tell was a lie.
So there we were, watching two girls going at it and didn't say anything, i didn't know what to say, it felt awkward. At one point she was making herself more comfortable on a sofa and then straightened her leg and placed it between my thighs, i didn't think anything at first her leg didn't touch me, but then her toes touched my left thigh but she immediately moved her toes away, i kept staring at porn didn't react to it, then she started rubbing my thigh with her toes. I looked at her but she didn't look back, was still looking at porn so i pulled my leg away. After a little while she moved again and this time placing her foot really close to my vagina. We were still watching two girls going at it, it all felt really awkward and i didn't know what to do or say , i just kept looking at porn, at one point she started constantly moving her toes until they touched my vagina, for a moment she stopped but then tried to rub me with her toes, i finally asked her what's going on, what is she doing. She smiled and asked me if i liked it, i've never thought sexually about any girl before that, but i don't know what i felt at that moment so i hesitated and grinned awkwardly and didn't really say anything what makes sense. I think that gave her courage and she continued rubbing me with her toes. I pulled away at first then she said just go with it.
So then we were looking at porn and she was rubbing my vagina through my underwear, eventually i saw from the corner of my eyes that she put her hand in her panties and started looking at me, masturbating! while she was rubbing me with her toes. I didn't look at her but i didn't stop her either, she stopped at one point, came closer to me and started rubbing me with her fingers while she was rubbing herself too, i focused my look on the laptop screen but i didn't stop her, i was horny, so then she had an orgasm, moaning really loud and shivering, but she continued rubbing me until i had one too, but i still kept my eyes on the laptop.
Then she went to the bathroom, i closed porn and deleted her browsing history then went straight to bed, eventually she came to bed too and we went to sleep. Next morning when i woke up she was already up and said "morning cutie" to me, i didn't say anything, just smiled. We went on with the day like normally. But after that she's been acting more and more flirty with me. She asked if i could go and stay at her place upcoming monday night, haven't given my answer yet, i think im gonna go..
I don't know how i feel about this, it was actually really hot but awkward, i never thought about another girl sexually before that. And is she lesbian? Am i lesbian? I still like boys but when i think of that night i still feel it was so hot, so i don't know.
Weird part is, that she is my cousin, i know it's incest but instead feeling quilty about it, it turns me on even more.. i don't know what's happening with me..
Had to get it out of my system, please don't judge me, i know it's wrong but it was so hot.
What you need to do is have a sit down with her and tell her what you said here! Tell her how you really feel, about how much you liked it but that if you're both going to possibly continue with this, you have some questions and concerns. Explain that about how you become even more excited by knowing it's incest. I honestly believe that nothing is to taboo or wrong, as long as everyone involved is 18+yrs old, everyone is completely upfront and honest with each other. Also no matter what is ever asked of the other, there's never any judgment given or received!100% complete trust! As long as that's followed I say, feel, believe and live by, if you and the other person is thoroughly enjoying each other & better yet.Both are receiving & giving sexual fulfilment and pleasure, then go for it and enjoy!Who really has the right to say what's right or wrong? As long as nobody is hurt and both agree to always respect the other if they say no or I'm not sure.
You are young and experimenting, it is easy at your age to get confused, you can feel the same with a boy (if not better) what you have to remember is that you guys are related and what you do will follow you for the rest of your life, think about how that will affect you in the long run. Good luck.