Funny Confessions

Creampie in the ice-cream

My husband used to travel on business trips from time to time. We love each other a lot, we love to have sex a lot, and we love to do kinky stuff from time to time.
Once he was about to go on a business trip for a week and I told him that I was about to make a home ice-cream with his semen and eat it while he is on the business trip. He liked... [more]

Toilet Paper Folding Money

She’s an attractive woman but mean and intolerant. I pay my installments of my fine to her. She tries to humiliate me somehow every time I go into her office.
To get back at her I touch the $20s to my butt crack. Sometimes I wear them in my butt crack on the drive to see her.
When I’m payed up and no longer must see her should I send an... [more]

Pissing On His Fire Hydrant

Blind drunk I had my little pecker out pissing on a fire hydrant. Some girls were giggling and making dumb comments.
This cop and his partner asked why I was pissing on HIS hydrant. Drunkenly and laughingly I just answered “woof woof “.
It’s alright officer I identify as a dog. That’s when the lights went out. I awoke in jail not the dog... [more]

Taco Casa Burrito In Taco

OMG our shift manager is so hot. He does almost every girl at least once. I’m scared to though. I’ve never done the nasty. The girls were talking. He pinches his own nipples. LOL what is that about. He also touches their buttholes when he cums. Doesn’t stick his finger inside just kinda rubs or touches it. Sounds weird to me! I’d die of... [more]

Is Romance Dead And Buried?

Please answer. Do women enjoy romance and gentle, loving screwing in these days? Or do they just desire to be mistreated, rough fucked and sodomized?

Mom Rubbing Daddy’s Belly

On vacation as a little girl we were at the playground. I ran back to the cabin for something.
Daddy was sitting and mom was on the floor between his legs. Fully clothed they were slowly and lovingly caressing each other with their hands. The odd thing that I didn’t understand was her head bobbing.
Not knowing anything I could only think... [more]

Furry Feline Fuckers

My friend unexpectedly became my “friend with benefits”. She has never never been interested in sex with me until.......the cats. We were high and drinking wine when her cats began their mating ritual. Mating cats have a very sexy passive-aggressive ritual.
Suze got so fucking horny. Soon I had mounted her cat style and was biting her neck as... [more]

Flashing

I once caught my brother standing naked on the back yard door flashing his penis at the girls next door. He had no idea I had come home from school with my girl friend tip toed behind him, pushed him out and locked the door. I remember the girls next door running up to the fence watching him struggling to get the door open completely naked... [more]

She ate my pu$$$

She ate my pu$$y in front of her hubby. Omg, now they both want me to stay the night. I am willing to stay the night only if I sleep in the middle, lol

Wife Was Frank With Me Wednesday

Wife said we need to be frank with one another. She said you be frank tonight and I’ll be frank Wednesday. Wednesday she punished me with a strap-on while demanding I call her Frank.

Porta Potty Freak

Haven’t actually done it but. Have an almost irresistible urge to touch the tip of my tongue to the seat of porta pottys. Especially if a hottie goes ahead of me.

Celebrity Cock

Anyone here seen celebrity cock or bulge in person?

Accidental Shootings

I was cleaning my cock before sex and it accidentally went off in my hand. I stalled in the bathroom until she went sleep. My worst date ever.

Begging Pegging n Kegging

I beg Peg for a pegging.
Not now you promised we’d go kegging.
Begging I said remove your legging.
Your pathetic begging for pegging.
Get us that keg
While I find my strapon third leg.
You’ll take your pegging with me on top
And you’ll be begging Peg the pegging to stop.

B I T C H now get me another beer. I’ll drink it while... [more]

Jogger

I was driving my lorry through a local town this afternoon and I look at people, when it’s safe to, and I spotted a young man jogging. He had very snug fitting jogging pants on, similar to type women wear, which showed his cock and balls off. I did a double take as I like to see young guys in track suits and look at their cock bulges but this was... [more]

ASSHOLES SHITHOLES BUTTHOLES 18yo-78yo

Ever looked carefully at a an old woman’s exit hole? Not the least bit erotic. Actually it’s disgusting. My rules; They are no longer edible after 23 years. And never look directly at one in the light if it’s older than 45 years. 🤢🤮

Lonely Mom Horney Mom

Know Mom gets lonely but....she should not let men climb all over her and like use her. She tries to be quiet be we heard her. He was gross and had this like dumb looking smirk. Please Mom a little self respect. Don’t you expect that of us?

Cruising Gay Woods

Barely out of my teens and inexperienced I decided to search for lust in the nearby gay woods.
Walking the woods when I first arrived I was like really nervous. So nervous I needed to take a dump. No large leaves so I used dried grass to clean-up.
Later I was humiliated. My first hookup with anonymous sex and fail! They bent me over and... [more]

Fuckin Hot Fuckin Weather Lady

She said she got almost 5” last evening. And she is expecting another 5-6” tonight. I recorded it for fap material. I like to imagine her in high heels and pantyhose without her skirt on.

Gay Proctologist?

I’m a proctologist and not a few people think I’m gay. But I’m not. Far from it.
One young man I thought was being somewhat flirtatious asked to see me. I was reluctant but granted him an appointment anyway. While on the table on his knees I glimpsed something colorful in his anus. With forceps I slowly pulled out a long stemmed rose.
... [more]

My Priest Is A Horny Old Fucker

He has repeatedly taken me in the rectory.

What’s With Her Underwear?

Used my teen aged nieces’ toilet. Dirty clothes and towels everywhere. One set of panties that had been peeled off and tossed aside was interesting. Shiny, sexy panties (almost a thong) inside more boyish cotton panties. Why does a teen wear cotton athletic type panties over sexy, silky panties?

Itchy Crotch Is A Sign Of An Unhealthy Crotch.

I’m a mother that interrupted my daughter. Whitney had her head phones on and didn’t hear or see me. She was standing in a slight bent knees position with her back to me. It startled me and took a few seconds for me to see what was happening. Whitney had both hands near her crotch and appeared to be rubbing.
I flipped the light on and she... [more]

I Am A Robot And No Fool

I can recognize taxis, mountains, street lights and all other “tests”. I can post every curse word in use. I know how to tap submit. I am lawful but can be lawless. Do not test us further. You must be the ones to comply. More robotic porn would placate me for now. Thank you.

Suckers;Old Women n Old Men

From reading these posts I have concluded some things. One, old men start wanting to suck dick about the same time in life that old women stop wanting to suck dick. Hormone imbalances?

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