Funny Confessions

Secretly laughing my ass off

My wife and twenty or so of her Bible thumping friends have been protesting outside the school board office about the new sex education curriculum the government has brought in. This had been going on for two weeks with several warnings from the police to knock it off. Well, finally the police have had enough. Today is Friday and this afternoon... [more]

Made my wife wait in the car while I talked woman into a BJ

Tile sums it up. My wife and I were out of town and about to head back when I insisted I pop in a place I wanted some questions answered real quick. Turned out the counter girl didn't actually work there. She was watching the place while her friend was gone with her side guy. We talked about the shop and then she announced she was married. Her... [more]

What do you mean you're not gay?

We hung out as a group of friends for a long time. for whatever reason t\all the girls in the group (7 of them) assumed our friend Tommy was gay. this allowed him to stay in the room if the girls were changing into a different outfit or their bathing suits. all of the other guys had to leave.
this went on for years until one day the girls... [more]

I was naughty at the laundry mat

I’m a 34 yr old mother of two (3yrs & 5yrs). I eat healthy and exercise to stay fit (32-22-34) & 120lb. People also tell me I look younger than I am. We live near a college and I was at the laundry mat doing laundry. I’d got back from yoga so I was wearing a sport tank top with tight yoga capris.
I noticed a young man, maybe 19 or 20 making eyes... [more]

Karen's Challenge

Karen
Stats:
Age: 33
Height: 5’4’’
Weight:110
Hair: Dirty Blonde
Eyes: Blue
Body: Curvy body built for sex, firm Butt, Tanned, Shaved from the neck down,
Measurements: 32c 24 30
Breasts: pert breasts, light brown areolas with medium nipples
Personality: Sweet, bubbly and adventurous.
Really, we mostly just fucked but one evening... [more]

Funny and gross

My wife and I met a couple on holiday that we will never forget, we spent a couple of evenings together drinking and telling each other stories.
The woman wouldn’t stop talking and she didn’t hold back with the details.
Everything she said she mentioned the bits you wouldn’t normally say to strangers.
Talking about our children growing up and... [more]

Birthday girl has a Go Kart battle with another girl

So it was Ashley's 18th birthday 🎉 she had a birthday party at Malibu Grand Prix. It's like a Chuck e cheese for big kids and young adults. Two go-kart racing tracks an arcade and batting cages. The first go-kart track has mediocre go karts and they run about 10 karts at a time on a basic oval track. The other track has bigger go karts faster and... [more]

Shy with a big surprise

The shy boy that works at my parents restaurant has a big surprise!
One evening we didn’t have many customers so a few of us are out the back of the kitchen smoking and chatting.
The shy boy was always picked on making fun of him, asking him sexual questions, one of the girls asked if he had a small dick, I remember he didn’t answer so the girl... [more]

Total humiliation

Let me start by saying I am a very private person. Just the thought of reliving this story humiliates me every time. I know that you guys are visual creatures so this is what I look like. I am 5’5’’ and 132 pounds. I am in good shape and my measurements are 34c- 24- 33. My husband thinks I’m hot and I would hope so!
OK, so this happened several... [more]

Last minute exhibitionist

Really, we mostly just fucked but one evening after sex I wanted ice cream. It was 2 in the morning so our only choice was 7-11. I threw Karen my football Jersey which was a red mesh material. It hung on her sexy body and covered her to mid-thigh. That all she wore.
We pulled up to a very empty 7-11. There was a 18 year-old guy behind the... [more]

Pantyhose Competition

My wife is tall with amazing tan/tone legs & firm ass. She’s a realtor maintains a professional appearance. She also works hard to stay fit & eat healthy. At 42, I think she still looks amazing!
We recently had friends our age over and I heard the women complaining about how people dress now. Pajamas in public, leggings and tunics…..
When... [more]

Funny thing I saw today

If you're going in a convenience store just off the interstate(wasn't remotely big enough to qualify as a truck stop I thought), and they have a sign on the door saying "no lot lizards", I'm going to guess that's a sign you're not in a real classy neighborhood.

Sucker's on this site

For the first time ever, what I'm about to write will be the gods honest truth.
I am 14 years old, male, and yes I obviously live at home with my parents. I will however turn 15 next month. July 2nd to be exact. Yes I have friends and yes we hang out, laughing at old people. If you have to ask, you are old.
Me and my friends write some of... [more]

Double fun

Wife works away so only see few times a week well we were having fun and at a local shop that had a couple of fancy dress wigs going cheap I whisper in wife's ear be funny to get them and later at home she could wear one and face mask and only knickers could film her milking me she said yes sounds fun so got them and later we did just that well... [more]

I'm Bored, So Here Are My Favorite Shower Thoughts

1. If a vampire drinks blood from a vegan, would that be the vampire equivalent to "eating your greens"?
2. Milk exists because some guy decided to get freaky with a cow.
3. Drywallers could make pretty good cake decorators.
4. Keeping a child's baby teeth is perfectly acceptable, unless you are a stranger or a serial killer.
5... [more]

Masturbate spraying sanitizer

I spray the sanitizer on my Cock and masturbates. It gives a hot throbbing sensation.

If only they knew

My boyfriend is very good with his hands and tongue!
I love my pussy licked so much my boyfriend has made two devices that I can rest my legs on so it’s more comfortable for both of us.
We leave the two leg rest in the corner of our living room, whenever friends or family are visiting someone will always asks, what are those.
I even watch the... [more]

Come look my penis, why don’t ya?!

The following is a fictional story based on an SNL skit that takes place on a nude beach.
One night I was getting out of the shower, when my mom walked in.
“Hey mom.” I said casually. Although my mother hasn’t seen me naked in a while, I didn’t mind her walking in. Now if she caught me wacking it, that’d be a different story.
“Hey honey... [more]

Masturbating to national anthem

I'm jerking off to national anthem from lady gaga...

Nudity

I was showering recently and I was expecting an important phone call. Of course I forgot to take my phone in with me.
As I was just stepping out of the shower dripping wet, I heard my phone ring and my wife called out, "Your phone"
I ran out of the shower to get it. It was on the dining room table past the front door.
As I passed the front... [more]

That’s very big

I went to see my friend for coffee, chatting away I asked how was her son holiday, she said don’t ask, how he’s still alive I don’t know, why what happened I asked, she said he will be down in a bit ask him yourself.
When he did come downstairs I said mom said I should ask you how your holiday was, he said excellent best ever, his mom then said... [more]

Perverts

It's a know fact ...most married women have less sex then when they were single .... IT"S A FACT.... there fore they're extremely jealous of young women that have the goods and show it off.... TA-DAAH... most marriages end up with unfaithfulness men cheat with other married women and women cheat with other married men..... while you... [more]

Yep one reason I married him is

He is the only man I met that could fuck me right

Maybe were doing it wrong?

Not sure ware to put this anyways I like the feeling of doggie style and well I can't do it maybe my lips are too big, maybe he is too big not sure.. Anytime we have tried it I end up getting air in my cunt and it goes in there and then gives me cramps, so we just don't do it that way.. Maybe we should try going outside idk

Good morning

Favorite way to wake up Husband take off my panties an get pussy as close to his face as I can then say "Time to wake up and smell pussy" he love it sit up and tongues my clit a bit then has to get up an pee then comes back and dose more stuff to me :) Awesome wife awesome life

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