Hypersexual sadomasochistic minor

I found out that I had a fetish for getting hit even when I was young, sometimes I also like hitting people and making them cry. I'm basically a sadomasochist but my masochistic side is much more dominant. Nobody knows about this yet. I often fantasize getting off on a rough s*x and being choked which I love the most and other stuff. I wanna get f*cked so bad but the problem is - I'm a minor. To be honest, I suffered anxieties, depressions, and other mental/emotional/physical abuses already. I wanna live normally so bad and grow and have my dream work, get rich, live alone away from my family and meet someone. Although every time I think of my ideal person, I'd give up right away because I know my standards are too high and I don't want to expect anything. I'm still a kid but I can't control my libido and I might as well call it hypersexuality. I fetishize getting choked and I'm quite addicted on dy*ng through it but no, I'm not suicidal at all. It's like a mania. It's making me feel weird (the thought of dying I mean) but I don't particularly want to die because I hate life, it's just arousing or something like that. I don't care about my sexuality by the way, so I don't really care how or who as long as I get someone that can enter or exceed my standards which I find too high. I don't like the fact that I started getting sexually active when I was still young because pleasuring myself would come to me as boring soon, but it's not like I can sleep with someone when I'm still a kid. I read stories where the main characters likes getting hit and sometimes I wish I was them tbh lol. I don't know if I'd still find someone within my expectations but I'd want it as soon as possible. (Btw I don't know what to use as a category lmfao).

23 days ago

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    • Yeah, NP doesn't list a Lies and Complete Bullshit category, yet.

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