Feeling hurt and hate myself for it

Since meeting my husband he has always loved me riding his cock, especially when I’m sliding my lips up and down over his cock until he ejaculates.
Last week he told me I’m to heavy and it’s uncomfortable for him now.
I know I’ve put on a lot of weight and it hurts me more knowing I can do his favourite part of sex.
Yes I can diet but don’t have the willpower as I have tried many times before and failed.
I’m worried my husband will look elsewhere for sex.

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