Sexual feelings between best friends

I’m female and my best friend is male, we have been friends since 14 both now 27
We’ve come close a few times to having sex, we are both comfortable seeing each other naked, we talk about personal and embarrassing things, if he is at my house and I’m having a bath he’s sits in the bathroom while I’m having a bath.
We tell each other in great detail if anything sexual has happened when meeting other people but never spoken about our sexual feelings between us two.
I kind of feel that we have both conditioned ourselves to block out any feelings we have for each other.
For the last 3 months he has told me he is so sexually frustrated and is masturbating lots, unknowingly to him I’ve been the same, I’m scared to let him know because it might jeopardise our friendship.
You might say just have sex you two and be done with it, but the reason we haven’t had sex in the past is because we both don’t want to ruin our friendship, as soon as you have sex with someone especially a close friend it will change the dynamics between us and it can never go back to how it was.


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  • You admitted both of you are grownups.You figured each other out why would you worry about sex ruining your relationship? Are you afraid the sex will be great and you will fall in love?
    Don’t do it then and move on being sexually frustrated

  • Take it from another approach. Treat it like you were experimenting with S&M. Come up with a "safe word" that can be used to stop the interactions if it's just getting too weird for you. That way no one is offended and you are both going into it knowing the potential consequences.

  • Best to start mutual masturbation, you will both love it.

  • You'll still be friends..... with benefits.

    and the best marriages that actually work out and last are those that are actually friends as well as lovers.

  • .... so it may be the way it is to be.

  • I have a great female friend that was close like that with her best male friend. They were absolutely inseparable but would not have sex together to not risk the friendship. Then he was killed in a workplace accident. She missed the guy she should have married or at least had a lasting relationship. She has been in mourning about it now for 10 years.

  • When he told you he had been jerking off, did it "jeopardise" your relationship ? Sex is what grownups do, for fuck's sake ! As earlier advised, if you don't have the mental / emotional maturity to go there, don't do it. If you do, "friends with benefits" is a very real and workable situation.

  • Start slow and masturbate in front of each other and let nature take it’s course… It’s more exciting that way for each of you .

  • If you express your concerns with him openly about your friendship before you suggest anything sexual, the dynamic of your friendship doesn't have to change. You also need a certain level of maturity and understanding. If you or your friend don't have those, don't go there. If you do, you might find you can have the same friendship, but with "benefits" until you find/fall in love with another person. I'd already guess that you probably shouldn't go there.

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