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Don't Fuck a Shop-Vac
As a young teenager, I was always looking for new ways to jack off. I had tried everything from boring a hole in a watermelon to hollowing out a piece of raw steak meat. One day, after hearing from a friend of mine, that some women will suck on a man's cock, and it's supposed to feel great, my mind shifted to the old Shop-Vac my dad kept in the garage. I waited till one day when I was home by myself, and then I ventured into the garage to experiment. I uncovered the old vacuume cleaner and pulled it out of the corner. It was pretty dusty and hadn't been used for a while so I got a damp rag and cleaned her up a bit. It was an old industrial model with a 20 gallon tank and a 4hp electric motor on top. I plugged it in and turned it on to see if it still worked. She fired right up and had real good suction when I put my hand over the hose. I shut it off and proceeded to check out the hose size. The tip was a little to small for my cock, so I removed the nozzle and stroked my cock until it was hard. I was pleased to discover that my cock fit quite snuggly inside. Then I hit the on switch, and thats when all hell broke loose. In less than a second it peeled the skin off of my pecker and ripped the ligaments loose that attatch the pecker to the pelvic bone. I shut the switch off as fast as I could and pulled my bloody pecker out and it was dangling loose like a limp noodle. It was the most excruciating pain I had ever felt in my life. I grabbed my under shorts and wrapped them around my wounded member and made my way to the telephone in the kitchen to call 911. It was the most embarassing moment of my life, trying to tell the lady on the phone what I had done, but the pain was so bad I didn't care. The ambulance showed up in about ten minutes and took me to the hospital, along with the bag from the Shop-Vac. They wound up having to cut skin off of my leg to graft onto my pecker. After a dozen different operations, they got my cock functioning and looking somewhat good, although I have very little feeling in it, and havent had an orgasm in years, except for the occasional nocturnal emmissions I experience in my sleep. I still have nightmares and sometimes have anxiety attacks whenever I see a vacuum cleaner. All in all, I strongly caution against sticking your pecker in a vacuum cleaner hose. They really should put warning labels on those evil things.
I have done it many times. Sometimes I get a whole body orgasm. I use a small shop vac and an attachment that makes the hose big enough to fit my dick. I love it!
The anti-incest warrior owns 4 vacuum cleaners precisely to use for this.
I've done it often and it feels great!
If you put it in the long hose, it won't hurt your dick at all.
I have done it many many times over the years.i use a small shop vac and an attachment that makes the hose big enouth for my dick. Sometimes I get a whole body orgasm.i love it!
Lol! I didn't believe one word, but entertaining nevertheless...