Disclosure

My fiancé and I have been dating for a little over seven years now. We met in college. It was quite casual at first as I didn’t consider him my type. He originally served more as my safety date when I needed someone that was presentable at social, or family events as compared to the more playful guys that I was normally attracted to. About a year ago we started to get a more serious as I started settling down and grew more comfortable with a quiet night at home verses going out and partying and trying to work the next morning. Six months ago, he began suggesting that we get married, and I toyed with the idea. I knew that he was madly in love with me and had even bought a ring. He tried to propose a few times, but I would stop him because I wasn’t ready to accept, and I didn’t want to turn him down. I thought that we might get married someday but I wasn’t ready. He was persistent and I finally accepted back in June. Now we have the wedding planned in two weeks.

Last weekend in a romantic moment, he confessed that he had lied to me about being with another woman. He said that he had in-fact lost his virginity to me, and that I had been his one and only lover. That was so touching. However, I couldn’t enjoy it because I knew that he was looking for me to open up about my sexual past. Of course, he knew that I have been with other men, so I could not say the same. I acknowledged his admission but evaded any discussion of my sexual history. I sensed more than a little disappointment in him that I avoided any admissions.

Its two days later and that discussion has been haunting me. I don’t particularly want to lie to him. But I also know that I cannot tell him a lie, even if it is a lie of omission and then let him find out the truth after we are married. I would be honest, but I am petrified that he would not marry me if he knew even a small percentage of my sexual history. To be honest, I have absolutely no clue as to how many men that I have had sex with. If I had to guess, I know it would be north of one hundred. And all of them have been during the time that we were dating.

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