MY EXPERIENCE AND DESIRE

I'm 20 years old girl. I have an uncle. He is married and have two daughters, one is currently about 13-14 years old and the other one is about 5-6 years old.
Since my childhood, when he came at my house, while leaving, he always bitten hard on my cheeks. But, slowly and slowly, when I grew up, like when I was about 14 years years old, he had his younger daughter, and went to his house see his younger daughter.
Me and his elder daughter were then playing hide and seek in his house and it was my turn to hide. I wasn't getting any place to hide and they had a bathroom in there lobby where my uncle was gonna go to take a bath, and he saw us playing, and found it was my turn to hide. So, he asked me to come hide in the bathroom with him and being honest at that time, I was so dumb kind of kid, like I didn't even know about good touch, bad touch, or sex etc.
So, I went with him in the bathroom to hide. I was standing close to the door facing towards the door, and my uncle came close to me, hugged me from back and started touching me, like rubbing my belly moving his hand inside my top and so. And as I said I was kind if dumb kid, so couldn't get what he was doing to me. But in a few minutes I went out of the bathroom. Then after that I went back to my house.
He then used to come to my house once in six months or like some gap as usual (as we lives in different cities). So this time he came to my house one year after his younger daughter's birth. But he did nothing to me or like this. But the same year, he came to my house several time, and one last time in the end of the year and I was about 15-16 years at that time and got known a little bit about sex, and good and bad touch etc. And this time, he stayed in my house, and that night, we were in the room taking care of his daughter and helping her to sleep. The lights in the room were switched off, and he was laying on one side of bed and holding his daughter onto his upper body, to make her sleep. And I was sitting besides them on the floor and patting my palm on his daughter's head to make her sleep. And in that dark room, there was no one except us. So, my uncle held me closer to him and kissed me on my lips and I was shocked.
After this, I went back to my room, for sleep, but I was thinking about what happened, and understood my uncle's intentions. I got somewhat scared after this, and tried my best to stay away from him. Then next day he went back to his house.
And in the mid of next year he again came to my house, and I again got scared. I was 16 at that time. Again he stayed at my house. (Actually my relation with the uncle is that he is brother-in-law of my dad's elder brother and I live in a nuclear family).
So that night, all the rooms were occupied, and one room was left to sleep in, and me and my aunt (my dad's elder brother's wife), went there to sleep. I was almost about to sleep, but suddenly uncle came to the room and asked my aunt that he will sleep in the room as there was no much space to sleep. I got scared again. And then fell asleep.
In the morning, I was little sleepy, but felt something. It was, my uncle held me up and put down on the other side of bed, and then he lied besides me, holding me tight and closer to him. I noticed that there was no one in the room except us, and I got scared but acted like I was sleeping as I had no way escape. And that time I was a night dress, like a t-shirt and shorts, and slowly and slowly my uncle moved his hand inside my shirt and shorts and rubbed my back and butts. My heartbeat was so fast at that time. Then he held me from my waist tightly and brought me onto him, and again rubbed my body. Then he put me down on the bed bit aside. And within one or two minutes, he again came close to and touched my face, and then he climbed on me laying on my body, and kissed a bit on my face and then kissed in my lips. I was feeling the tightness of his lips on my lips and his heavy weight on my body. Also I was feeling his hard cock lied on my vagina.
After kissing, he moved out of the room, and after seeing him gone, I also went out and moved to the washroom. Again I was shocked and scared about what happened. Then he again went back to his house. Next time after about 6-7 months he again came to my house, and again tried to see me in private, but this time I stayed far away from him and didn't give him any chance to get privacy with me.
Then after 6 months (I was about 17) again he came, and I stayed away from him again, but at last when he was getting back to his house, I felted relieved and went to my room doing some work thinking that he has gone now, but suddenly he came to see me. I was shocked to see him. I was sitting on my bed, and he came close to me and hugged me from behind, and keeping his one hand on my waist and other on my breast, he again kissed me on lips. And then he went back.
After this time whenever he came, I moved somewhere out or found some ways to keep him stay away from.
But two years back when I was 18 years old, he came to my house again, and again stayed. That first day he again tried to find chance, but stayed away. But next day I was about to go for a bath, and was in my room looking forward to choose my clothes to wear that day. Suddenly both of his daughters came to my room, to play. Just right after them, my uncle came to my room, and sent his daughters out with some reason. And his daughters then went out where he said them to go.
Then was about to leave the room with an excuse, but he then looked the room, and came closer to me, wrapped his arms tightly around my body, pushed me against the wall and kissed me passionately with rubbing his hands against my body, like touching my back, butts, pressing my boobs, moving his hands inside my clothes, my bra and panties. He then held me in his arm while kissing me passionately and pushed my against the door, holding my butts tightly. Then he kissed on my face, bitten my earlobe, kissed on my neck, collarbone. And then he put me down again and again pushed me against the wall, holding me tightly.
At that time his belly was somewhat coming out, so while holding me against the wall, he pushed his belly against mine. His little fat belly was pressing mine belly and I was feeling that pressure. And doing this, he was kissing me a bit and saying me, why not we go somewhere out like spending time alone. Then I said I don't get enough time because my college. He then asked me to bunk my college someday, and let's go. And I said no, I won't be gonna bunk. He then said, why, what's wrong with bunking once in a while. And asked me to take his phone number, and whenever I'm gonna bunk, just call him, and he'll pick me up and we'll go somewhere alone and have good quality time together. Then I said okay. Then he left the room and went back to his house.
And then after a little time, me and my family shifted to our new house. We have a twin house, so again we are living in a nuclear family. So after that time, my uncle uses to come to my house as usual. But now, I don't give any other chance to get closer to me. I again tried really much but I prefer to stay away from him. But still when he comes, I get scared everytime.
Sometimes I feel like telling my parents about it, so that I don't have to be scared when he comes. But, on the other hand, if I'm gonna tell it to my parents, then the environment at my house will become complicated. So everytime when I think of telling it to my parents then this thought comes to my mind. And also, I feels like, though my parents will believe me, I feel like my aunt will think that I'm targeting his brother, or it will be that if these things are happening for so long, then why didn't I tell them before, or questions will also come on me. So, I prefer to stay silent on this matter.
Again, a few days back, my uncle had come to my house, and again he tried to find private time with me, and again I stayed away from him.
But now, to be honest, don't know why, or how, but I kind of feel like giving into my uncle's desire. Maybe it's because, I have entered my 20s, and at this age group, it becomes normal to have sexual desires or urge of having sex, specially if the individual have never had sex before. So, it might be because of my age that I now kind of want to give into my uncle's desire. Like now, I really want to get fucked by someone. No matter who else fucks me. It's just I want to get pussy fucked hard.
So, now whenever I think about my uncle and whatever has happened in the past few years, I get aroused, and want my uncle to drill his hard cock into my pussy very hard. The way he kissed me before, I want to get kissed like that again. The way he moves his hand on my body, I want to feel it again now. And I want to get my pussy eaten up by him. I again want to feel his heavy body weight on me. Overall, now, I really want to have sex with my uncle really hard.
But it's also that, I don't really want to show it in front of him, as it won't be really appropriate for us. So I don't know how can I again get to feel his body. And if I think so, like next time whenever he'll come to my house, and try to get chance alone with me, then I'll not run away from him, and then we'll get time in private and then he'll do all this to me. But it be good enough, as there can be a lot a chances to get caught by parents doing all this at home. So, it would be better if we go out somewhere like hotel room etc, and have hard sex there. But I can't really tell him about my desire now.
So can someone suggest what should I do in this case now?

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