Just had my first gay date

I've been straight all my life but recently I've become curious about guys. I've started off watching gay porn and messing around in Chatrooms and just recently I downloaded grindr. I met a nice guy my age and we went on a date, I was so nervous because I'm still in the closet and don't want anyone to know but everything went really well. We did kiss a few times and hold hands. I could tell he wanted to hook up but honestly I don't even know if I'm a top or bottom. Maybe I should just go for it and see what happens. He's been texting me a lot and seems to really be interested in me. I just can't see myself ever coming out.. idk what to do.

26 days

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    • Update: thank you all for your kind words, we're still talking, we've been hanging out more but I'm still in the closet, we've gotten a little physical but haven't went all the way yet. He really wants to hook up but I'm just too nervous because I think I'm a bottom but I don't know if it's going to hurt or not. He says it's be fine but I've seen his unit and it's pretty big, can't imagine it inside me. But I do get butterflies when we kiss and cuddle. He wants me to be the "bottom" and I honestly that's what I would prefer but it's just so foreign to me. I don't want to force it but I do want to be a little more feminine for him. Idk where to start. Then there's the coming out part, I can't ever see myself doing that. Ugh idk. Help lol.

    • By all means stay in touch with him. Tell him what you would like to do. Once you get past that first awkward period you will be more comfortable.

    • I'm totally comfortable when we're at my apartment I wear short shorts and loosen up a little, sit in his lap etc, but I'm too afraid to go out like that.

    • Be candid with him about your uncertainty but also your curiosity. He’ll probably be attracted to that. I would be. Enjoy the journey. Don’t worry about labels or being “out”.

    • Just enjoy being yourself and don't worry about coming out. Have fun and do what you normally would to be happy. Don't go overboard and don't be scared, just be yourself

    • Just let him lead. You’ll figure out what role best suits you through experience.

    • You don't need to come out yet. Do what you enjoy, learn what you like, and explore your options

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