Curious

Lots of men who have been straight all their lives feel the same way you do. A lot of us have bisexual urges which we have suppressed.
You can try joining organizations like bisexualplayground dot com or a swingers community website. There are plenty of married couples who have become honest with each other and themselves, as you have, who are "bi-curious".

Funny how guys grow up thinking of their own asses as untouchable, taboo. Your asshole clenches up when you cum, obviously it is connected to your junk intimately. But we grow up learning that playing with our assholes means we are gay, so if we like girls, we ignore our butts.
But thankfully that is changing, in part because these days more and more women are turning guys on to sexual stimulation anally.

Read the confessions of others on this site. See how many others feel the same as you. Check out swingers sites and see how many couples there are where men admit they are "bi-curious" or already bisexual.
When you are ready you should be able to find a safe place and friendly people who want to help you suck cock, and get penetrated anally.

Don`t worry about being gay. Tons of men including myself enjoy anal penetration. It started for me as a young boy jacking off all the time and with a finger deep in my ass it made me cum even more. Before long I was sticking other things in my ass and eventually talked a good friend in to fucking my ass in the 8th grade.
Once he did it the first time he wanted to fuck often and we did. It always felt so good when he got on top of me and stuck his hard dick in my tight asshole. When he was fucking me I wanted it to last forever. The first dozen times he fucked me he always pulled out and humped my ass then shot his cum on my ass.
That always felt very good but we both were curious as to what it would feel like if he didn`t pull out so since we both wanted to know I let him cum in my ass one day after school in my bed. OMG! It was great so every time he fucked me which was very often he came in my ass. When we got to spend weekends together and could be alone at his house or mine all day we hardly ever put our clothes on and we fucked a lot and he would cum in my ass quite a few times a day. Even at night in our bedrooms quietly he would fuck me a few times and I was always more than willing to spread my cheeks open for him to get his dick in my ass.
We both grew up very straight married and raised our children but when we were younger we had a lot of sex including sucking each other off and we both swallowed more than our share of each others cum and we both enjoyed a long 69 taking our time making each other feel really good then both of us shooting our loads in to each others mouths at the same time.
We still had sex even after we had steady girlfriends just because we liked doing it. So don`t worry go ahead and try it you might enjoy it.

You don't have to be gay to enjoy anal play. Find yourself a good woman who will fuck you in the ass with a dildo, it's way better than becoming a phag. I have a wife who loves fucking the shit out of my ass with a strap-on, and she loves when I fuck her in the ass. And, of course, she has the sweetest pussy I have ever eaten.

Do the right thing. If you got a girlfriend, buy her a strap-on and tell her to get it.