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I had gay sex before It was popular
When I was in MS I had a friend that lived a few houses down that I would hang out with, I always knew he was a little different but I didn't know it was because he was gay. We became close, he had a pool at his house so we swam together a lot and spent a lot of time together. One day he passes me a letter in school admitting to me he's gay and has had feelings for me for a long time. I was dead against it but didn't want to hurt his feelings. We met up after school and he asked me what I thought about the note and I told him my dad would kill me if he knew I did anything with a boy. He grabbed my hand and said kiss me and see how it feels. Honestly just him grabbing my hand felt special idk how to describe it. I remember just leaning in and kissing him and my heart racing. I felt a connection instantly. We giggled and kissed again. Things continued to develop over time, we stayed making out, passing notes, cuddling. One night he stays over at my house we end up having sex, very unprepared sex lol, shampoo for lube, no condom, very messy but I couldn't believe how much I enjoyed it. Then one day he tells me we need to come out and tell everyone so we can be a legit couple and I panicked. We fought big time, I basically begged him not to tell anyone. We ended up splitting up but I continued having sex with him for several months. He finally spread rumors all over the school about us but no one believed him because I was a jock. I still think back on how much I enjoyed the sex, he would've made a great partner but I just can't come out like that..
I was close with an older boy when I was a little kid and we'd kiss and do a lot of touching. He butt fucked me when I was barely 9 and the feeling of it was quite nice, no pain and the feeling of being cumed in was actually embarrassingly nice. I was under his passions and finally just before I turned 13 I felt what it's like to cum while being with another boy.
I get it. I was totally in love with my best friend when we were 13 year olds, and I swear that he was prettier than any girl I've ever known. I was too afraid of losing the contact we had to risk telling him that. A year later my family emigrated and I lost contact with him, but I've never forgotten him. I keep on searching for him online but can't find a trace to get in touch with him.
It wasn't just his pretty face that made me love him, it was him, everything about the way that he lived in the world. I'm very sure that I would still feel the same if we ever meet again. He's my true love.
I get where your head was. I grew up in thr 80s and it seemed nothing and I mean nothing was considered worse than being gay. That and living in thr Bible belt made it down right an abomination. I always had feelings for my best friend even up to his death bead, though we only made small talk but never advances (joked about pounding each other etc.). He had a wife so do I. His brother was so mean to me knowing we were friends as he was extremely femanin, I wasn't. I never understood this, like he hated his brother and any friends he ever had. His sister was the same, she seemed to overprotective him. I guess afraid I was gonna hurt him. I hate if you hurt him over this it seemed he had strong feelings for you. Much like G and I we knew it'd never be accepted in our lifetimes so we moved on. I never thought this time would come and sadly my best friend lost his life before I could ever fully admit my feelings for him. I'm happily married bit still have that wonder, what if. Just what if.
I grew up in the 80's too. Friends that were "flamers" and very open did get picked on. Never physically but that level of openness wasn't acceptable. However, several were gay and just kept it subtle... They never had problems and blended in with everyone. Truth is, we didn't want to see the pda from straight couples either. My two cents.