BDSM - Help! Need Suggestions

My wife stated this summer that she's into BDSM. Never in our 14 years of being married has she mentioned it. I'm on Fetlife.. I watch porn. I'm not really into the BDSM life. But I love to please. So I purchased a bunch of shit to start down that road. Cuffs, ropes, whips, clamps.. dildos, anal plugs.. you name it. I purchased it.

Last week I cuffed her arms and legs. She couldn't move. Blind folded her. I used the spanking items.. The mini whip type things. The problem I have is. I don't know what areas to work on. yes, I teased her nipples. Clamped them... I spanked her clit, vagina..etc. Inner thighs.. I whipped her legs, breasts... (lightly of course.) Can anyone tell me where I should focus on?

I turned her over.. Still tied up.. I spanked her ass. I worked plugs and dildos in the ass, pussy.... Pulled her hair.. Talked dirty about her being bad.. etc. It was fun. I didn't get to aroused. But it was kinda fun doing whatever I wanted! LOL.

Is there anything I'm missing. I've googled everything and most things are pretty extreme. Like.. Serious pain shit. She wants a light BDSM session.. I'm doing the best I can to learn quickly. Any women out there that can point me in the direction of where to focus on your body for the most erotic BDSM session? Thank you as always!

2 months ago

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    • Ask your wife, fool. Everyone enjoys different things.

    • Do discuss desires, limits, and hard limits. Begin each session with a brief but formal expressed transfer of power, from her, to you. Some folks do this by "collaring", often with an actual dog collar, or, a clothing item or particular restraint used ONLY when you are playing. Start easy, soft and sensual, then, gradually get harder. Focus on the buttocks and upper back.. The lower back, the kidney area, should be avoided. Breasts are fair game, as far as whipping, just be careful, as with the vagina. Do use safe words. Make close inspection of your work, the skin's response to various implements, do keep the lines of communication open, even if she's ball-gagged, and in subspace. Have a period of aftercare as the session winds down. Subspace can be strange, as can headspace, though I find the later to be a sort of highly focused concentration, not unlike meditation. Subspace evokes physical and emotional responses. BDSM is physical and sexual sorcery. Remember: Safe, sane, and consensual.

    • During an afternoon of consensual marital play, bind your willing, nude and fully blindfolded wife and secure her in an 'open' and available position for penetrative sex.

      Once started and going you will be interrupted. Leaving her there, you will go see who it is. She will hear you, in the living room, having a believable prerecorded long conversation with a man's voice she doesn't know.

      While the conversation continues, you will sneak back into where she is. If at all possible, return to her from a different entrance and take photos. Lightly touch her and press play on the second prerecording. This will be another man's voice that is strange to her. It will whisper to your wife the man chatting with her husband is his partner in crime. As long as she is silent, his partner won't harm or kill your husband. Understand? Good. I'm supposed to be robbing you right now, but since you are already here and are offering yourself so nicely... I'll just briefly borrow your body and leave. Okay? Okay. Pause recording.

      You try to do everything different from your norm with her. If you use a fake phallus, heat it up first. When you are 'done' restart the recording as it states; You were VERY good Mrs. ___. Now don't ruin it by telling on us or going to the police or we will have to return.

      Leave and go get cleaned up. Don't forget to get rid of any evidence of the perp's cologne.

      After the first recording ends slam the front door. Return to your wife and have a normal bondage session with her. Try to hold off telling her the truth about what happened as long as you can but don't let her phone the police or go to the hospital before you fess up. Make sure you eventually fess up

    • Being “into bdsm” is like saying you’re “into sports”. Too broad to be helpful. What you need is to have conversations with your wife about fantasies and boundaries so you can understand what bdsm means to her, and then you make those fantasies come true within the confines of her hard limits.

    • Fuck her in the ass

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