Confused and needed to say something...

I'm super manly 26yr Male. I've enjoyed crossdressing behind closed doors since the age of 10. I've been married and divorced twice already for various reasons. During both marriages I would dress up in my wife's clothes when they were away and at times would experiment with their toys. After my second divorce I moved back in with my parents and started therapy. I can't even talk to my therapist about this as I find it embarrassing. I've considered for the past few years that maybe I'm supposed to be a girl, I love the woman figure actually find myself to be jealous of many beautiful women and the attention they get. I'm by no means out of shape and actually go to the gym regularly to stay in shape, but am never happy with my own male appearance. Crossdressing started out as a sexual fetish to me, but now makes me feel better about myself when I dress. I recently started wearing panties full time and wear a sports bra under my more baggy shirts around the house without my parents knowing. I don't know why, but it makes me feel sexy and better about my body. I slept with a man a few years ago, the only one and was turned on until I came and just wasn't into him. I have my own dildo that I like to ride from time to time and finish myself while riding. I don't find myself attracted to men, but find myself attracted to CD's and Trans women (pre- or post-op). I feel like I want to move out on my own so I can dress more frequently and maybe even go out dressed. I'm really confused what all this means. I have my own mental health issues and this doesn't help. Everyone I know and knows me knows me as a rough and tough male, but inside I just want to be looked at like a sexy woman and feel sexy in my own skin. I've been interested in being with a man again recently and feel feminine satisfying a man, but have a mental barrier from not being attracted to men. I don't know what to do or where to go, I'm glad I was able to just put this out to the world without anyone knowing me.

4 Comments

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  • Just feel comfortable in your own skin. I’m married and recently discovered I LOVE wearing male thongs. They make me feel sexy and the fabric rubbing against my anus keeps me a little aroused all day. No one besides my wife knows I wear them and it’s quite exciting. Just do you!

  • I'm 23, married and like a similar thing in my wife's clothes and some of my own feminine things. I'm not into toys just other older married guys.

  • If you're in therapy and have access to a professional don't waste your time and money by trying to get advice here. If you have trouble saying this to them just copy this post you wrote and give it to them and tell them you have trouble verbalizing these particular thoughts. And best of luck.

  • Just try to determine what you really want, and go for it.

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