FWB w/ girlfriend's bestfriend

Ik ill be judged thats why I never told anyone but figured the drama loving online people would enjoy this.

I started dating this girl ill call Grace. We were 3 months in when I finally met her bestfriend Ashley (Ashley went to another school). I was in love with Grace at the time i ignored Ashley and whenever shed text me I figured it was a test so didn't put much thought into it. It started out as just a "where's Grace?" "How are you two?" The first month. After that one time i wouldnt see her in person for a while. During that time our conversations grew to normal just checking up on each other or share memes. 2 months after meeting her my girlfriend was Ashely's name on my phone and asked if I talk her. I said yes and she told me to just stop she didn't know. I was confused i thought she'd know/wanted her bestfriend to talk to me to test me or something. I still loved Grace so I agreed and left Ashley on read. About a week later Ashley texted me again but I wouldn't continue the conversation. I suddenly got 3 notifications from her so I opened them and she basically told me that Grace didn't have to know about our friendship since we never did anything wrong in the first place. She had a reason since I did like our own little friendship that was forming so she convinced me to not tell Grace. I was scared tho thinking anyday Grace will yell or leave me for talking to her but she didn't. Ashely kept her word and we resumed to our normal conversations. However Grace would find out another month later through Ashely accidentally bringing me up. Grace was furious but didn't leave me and made me block her. To my surprise again Ashely added me on snap with another account. She apologized and explained herself and even said it was wrong after all and we should stop. But at this point me and Grace were having more arguments. I told her Grace did not control who I could and couldn't be friends with and she shouldn't either. Ashely and I continued talking but the vibe changed after that. We knew what we were doing was wrong but in a way that made it better more exciting. One day the topic of sex was brought up i forgot how but I wanted to continue it so i went more into detail. It was essentially dirty talk but she liked it. She continued it but stopped to say we shouldn't be talking about this because of Grace. I continued tho telling her it isn't wrong if we don't do it in person. I managed to convince her continuing our little game. Half way through she stopped sending texts and just replied with pictures and videos of her playing with her boobs but never taking off her bra or underwear. She really enjoyed it, it was easy to turn her on with one of my dirty stories sending me videos of her moving boobs still in that damn bra playing with it. With a caption to continue our little game. Every time I'd ask for her to take it off she'd tease me with a video just to say no. I left it alone and a month later she sent me the first video of her without her bra. I was still with Grace who thought I had stopped texting Ashley. She eventually started sending me pics and videos of herself doing many things based on our dirty talk. Grace left to Tijuana one weekend because braces are cheaper and she has family over there. I had my usual game Saturday night with Ashley and it got really heated. She told me her parents would be gone sunday and thats when we finally did it. She was very shy the complete opposite of our conversations but she had told me to take the lead and do what ever i wanted she wouldn't stop me. It was only the second time seeing her in person. This went on for the last 2 months of dating Grace, our relationship was a little less than a year and we broke up over too much arguing. After i told Ashley she said she'll help me move on and came over the next day. Grace eventually found out and cut off Ashley who was very into me at this point. To this day she is still my friend with benefits and we've been doing the same thing throughout multiple relationships. Sometimes wed get caught but after 2 years we sort of cant live more than 2 months without being together. We're now in the same university meeting up in secret places behind our parter's back sometimes even introducing ourselves as friends. Im just now seeing how bad this looks but its my life and this is my story. Idk if I will change or even want to change, I often think about the hearts both of us have broken but can't get enough of her.

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