Account Login
On ThePornDude Hall-of-Fame
Was I wrong...?
I'm a feminine gay high school senior now and attending a public school, my older sister by four years attended a private girls' school. My last class let out more than a hour before my sister's did and, I would sometimes walk home to my house with her boyfriend who was a senior in the same school as me, I being a freshman. My parents worked and never got home before 5:30pm. When I got home each day I would go to my room, get out of my school clothes and just lay on my bed nude, sometimes doing what boys' do. One day I saw my sister's boy friend watching me doing it, what boys' do. He was looking through the hinge side of a slightly open bathroom door which also was connected to another bedroom that wasn't used. I was so scared at first but became more aroused seeing him there peeking at me. Well this happened several times one week, me knowingly allowing him to keep peeking. This one day, he just rushed into my room and was over me, holding me down on my bed telling me to relax. I was so scared and frozen with fear, he was so strong, he played senior football. He said he knew that I knew he was watching me and that it was okay with him if I was really gay. He said all my sister's girl friends' believed I was gay, that he just wanted me to give him a..... At that time he kissed me and I began to relax a little and did what he wanted. He did hurt me a number of times that day with his penis, he was very large and tried to penetrate me many times where I didn't want him to, even bruised my legs by forcing them open, hurt me in my throat by being aggressive, holding my head and not allowing me to even breath. He also touched me in ways I haven't been touched by another boy, even though I had been with a few other boys' from my school and a boy in my neighborhood. Well, I continued to let him touch me, with me eventually accepting him sexually for the rest of that school year, feeling bad all the time knowing he was my sister's boy friend. School ended and both he and my sister went out of state to different colleges, they've both moved on from each other. When I see him now, he smiles at me even when he has his girl friend with him. Am I wrong to have allowed him to do what he did with me, what I did to my sister? I would never hurt her and just kept this to myself. Please comment if you want and please don't disparage me for what I did even if I was wrong.
Let it go. Live your life as you are, and cast off all guilt about that. But, if he becomes financially successful, blackmail the fuck out of him !
I don't think I could ever do that knowing my sister would learn of this as well as my parents. I think I have accepted this for what it is, however, feel in part at fault for what happened that day. I so hope the thoughts of this day dissipates from my life, and the many times me allowing him to touch me from that day on. Thank you for your comment.