I haven't told my boyfriend I go to gloryholes

So this is something I've been doing since before we started dating...

We live in a pretty populated part of Cali where there are lots of porn shops/sex clubs with glory holes. I originally got into it because I liked the extra cash some people would slip me but I have student and car loans and a job that doesn't pay an incredible amount.

The issue is the fact that my boyfriend is pretty monogamous and he doesn't like to entertain the idea of threesomes or cheating or anything like that. So I know I can't tell him. and I can't afford to quit.

I usually give blowjobs. I strip into my underwear and take cum in my mouth or on my body/face. Occasionally the clients will signal for vaginal (2 fingers) or anal (3 fingers). I give them both. Some people have special requests that they sometimes pay for. It's usually weird non-sexual things like farting, drooling, etc. Some people will ask me to do things that are incredibly degrading but too difficult for me to pass up. Some clients ask me to burp or defecate or pee or something similar.

I wouldn't feel so bad about this if it was JUST gloryholing. but it's become more than that. Several of the places have regular clientele that know me and which spot I'm in. they call me by my nickname and I call them daddy, master, etc. There are people who sometimes join me in the booth, to the effect that I'm sucking two cocks at once, or so that they can see me doing some act.

I know it's my fault and that it's cheating but I don't know what to do. One of the "clients" meets me at a specific time on specific days (I don't want to specify) inside the booth and commands me to do things. He pays me very well, but I feel like the requests are getting worse and that the money might not even be worth it. He's one of the clients who requests "degrading" things on a weekly basis. Sometimes it's like the things I mentioned before and sometimes it's worse - drinking pee, nipple torture, cum farting, etc. It kills me to go home and have sex with my boyfriend without being able to tell him that somebody else came in my ass or fucked my pussy or pissed on my face.

What do I do? It's tearing me apart and I need the money but I feel trapped.

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  • I was visiting another town once, I set up a glory hole in my hotel. Got some great cock from older men. Well lo and behold the last one of the day turned out to be my father in-law as I set up a hidden camera in the room. I was able to record him as he placed his cock in the hole and I sucked it empty. Typically I let them (clients) know after the fact I have a recording of what they did, and they will do almost anything to keep it quiet. Let’s leave it at that. As for my father in-law, I showed him the tape before a family gathering and after that, well he is my little butt bud now and I get to fuck his ass when ever I want.

  • What part of California is it? I've never been to one in California.

  • It’s called Russian roulette with your mouth. Guys with disease who can’t get pussy otherwise go there. Everyone knows that. Check for mouth cancer

  • Take care of yourself, please, and see a therapist. You are subjecting yourself to abuse. Though maybe different, I did porn for 3 months in 1992 while I was in college and it was horrible. In my case, It was a slippery slope, from nude modeling to being expected to fuck the crew after a porn scene--and doing it out of guilt/obligation.

    I get the money thing with the gloryhole, and maybe there is a sugar daddy (s) involved, but you have to set your parameters as a sex worker. Make the power and ground rules yours.

  • The crew fucks the talent after they shoot the scene?

  • That was my experience too. It’s lije it never ends.

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