A mother in Love

I am a 42 year female, mother. My son is 19 and we are very close. His father passed when my son was 8 and it’s been just me and him ever since. He still lives with me, still has his own room, but still sleeps with me close to half the time. I am, and have always been very free and open with my body. I’m not a nudist, but I’m not far from it. I’ve taught him to be as well. I’m not sure when I began to sexualize my feelings toward him, I’d say it began when he started getting erect in his sleep. I began seeing him as a young man. These feelings, this attraction has just gotten stronger over the years. I want him to want me so much. Maybe he does. We sleep in the same bed often, and I sleep nude, He often does as well. It doesn’t seem like a great leap to begin a romantic relationship with him, but I’m still his mother. I’m not sure how to take the next step. Barb

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  • When my son was in his early teens he had to sleep with me his mom for a few nights because of a leaking roof, when we got in bed I made sure my night dress was pulled well down covering my bottom, during the night I awoke to find my nightie up my back as it can happen when you move around, my back was wet and sticky I know what it was, ime not sure if he had a wet dream or not, the same happened the night after and more nights till the roof was fixed,
    I scolded myself for enjoying it, and wanting it again, how bad am I.

  • You say he gets erections in his sleep well there is your opportunity, to give him a wank or a blow job while he is sleeping a blowjob will be best he will think its a wet dream at first, he will wake when he ejaculate, then you can pretend to be asleep your self and see how things develop, after a while he will realise, but you may still have to make the first move, I am speaking from experience, if you want to chat about anything. I am, Von, ide love to hear from you Barb xxx

  • So I boldly moved forward last night. As soon as he got into bed I sidled up to him, almost nose to nose. I put his arms around me and gazed deep into his eyes. I asked if he liked the new turn our relationship has taken. “Yes”, he said eagerly. I asked if he’d like it to go further. He looked at my breasts and nodded. At that I told him I was his, that he could have me. And I motioned for him to roll up on top. It was his first time and I find that especially special. We made love twice without stopping and I hardly slept because of it. I feel like I just got a new boyfriend. I’m so excited where this is going. But the fear in me wonders if it was a mistake. What if he doesn’t want me some day? But nothing I can do about that now. Barb

  • There is no going back now he has penetrated you, I felt a bit strange after the first time and thought not again, but the following day he grabbed me and I didn't resist now its permeant

  • Again, the first responder here.
    Good for you. It's okay to be worried, but I think you'll have to own the fact that there'sno turning back now. Sure, he might not want you after some time, but that's true in every kind of relationship. Then again, he might want you for a very long time.
    If the key to every relationship is communication, for one such as this it's essential. You'll have doubts, feel pressured by the awareness of the taboo, feel "dirty" or wrong. Talk it out, find comfortable ground for both. That's the way my son and I have been together for seven years and still going strong (it also helps that we moved abroad where no one knew us. People still frown upon us because we look as a cougar that caught a poor young man, but they wouldn't know we're mother and son unless they bother to look at our birth certificates).
    Just communicate, get rid of the taboos and enjoy yourselves. I, for one, admit that this is the best relationship I've ever had, emotionally and sexually. Just let go.

  • The first time I woke up to my mom playing with me I was scared and confused but after a few minutes of her telling me to just lay back and relax I began to really enjoy it.

  • OP here with an update.
    So these feelings have gotten 10x stronger since I first confessed them. It came over me last night when I once again woke to him spooning me, holding my breasts, hard as he could get. I reached around and gently took his penis in my hand. My middle and index fingers on the bottom side, my thumb on the top, just behind the head. I gently began working him this way. I got a similar reaction from him, nothing new. But I kept going. I worked him until he ejaculated on my ass. Then I became aware he was awake. He apologized. I told him he had no reason to and that I wanted to relieve him. Then I took his arm, out it around me and said “just hold me and let’s sleep”. He did. Nothing else was said though I know neither of us was asleep for a good while. I feel we’ve turned a corner. But I know a conversation must happen now. But I’m still so scared. Maybe I could have sex with him first? Then he’d surely be more receptive? I’m not sure. Barb

  • Me again, the woman who first responded.
    I think you're basically at a point of no return now and something's gotta give. BUT if not only he didn't back away, but he was awake and let you please him that way, I think it's safe to assume that in the worst case scenario, he's open to the idea. But it looks like he wanst you too, and might be as scared as you are to make a move.
    Again, only you can assess what's the right move since you know him best. Maybe sex out the gate is just what you need, or maybe that's way too aggressive (I, for one, felt raped when I found my son's cum on my panties at first, so imagine how I felt when he forced himself on me). But you're gonna have to tackle the elephant in the room, so you might as well set it up in a gentle environment and talk about it.

  • I was so hoping you’d comment again. I asked him yesterday morning if he was okay with things. He turned red, looked at his shoes, and nodded. I said “I am”. He looked up, smiled, then immediately back at the floor when our eyes met. I said “I’m glad” and dropped it there, not sure how to proceed. Last night we held each other as usual, and I relieved him again, only face to face this time. I asked him again if he was okay. He smiled ear to ear and said “yes” in a cracking voice. He wasn’t up yet when I left this morning. I think tonight may be the night, but I’m not sure if we should have a big talk first, or break the sexual tension first. I’m so glad I’ve found you. Barb

  • It's very difficult and tricky to assess if your feelings are reciprocal: if they are not and you make a move, it could be disastrous and ruin your relationship forever.
    I'm also a mother, and I've been in a secret but very fulfilling relationship with my son for a few years now, so I'm very open minded in that regard (love is love, they say). But we did have a very rocky start, it was actually him who felt sexually attracted to me at first, and we had a big falling out when he came forward with his feelings. I eventually came around and realized I wanted him too, but for a few days it almost seemed like our relationship was doomed: it is the taboo of incest, after all, and coming to terms with our own feelings can be confusing.
    Just be careful in your approach and if you start to see he feels the same way, go for it! And if he doesn't, have the will you need to accept that, or else you risk losing him forever (or worse). For my part, my relationship with my son was very similar to yours: it was only the two of us, I became a mom barely after turning 16, and we were always very close. I could tell he lusted for me when he hit puberty and I started finding semen on my dirty panties that could only be his. After our falling out we became lovers, practically like any other couple, when he was 19. We moved abroad after he graduated and have been lovers for 7 years, the most fulfilled I have ever been.

  • OP here, how did he make it known?
    It seems it should be fairly simple to entice a young man into sex, but as you said, the stakes are very high, being his mother.
    A couple nights ago, I became aware he had an errection in his sleep. I found myself playing with it, just a little. Then I backed my bare ass against it and tried to lay perfectly still, hoping he’d wake up and do something. I woke sometime later to find him holding me, his hand on my breast, spooning very tight. I wish I knew if he did this purposely. I’m so scared to make a move. And advice is more than welcome. Barb

  • Back then, it actually bothered me to find his semen in my dirty panties, it made me feel "invaded", for a lack of a better word. And it went on for years, up until he was 19, so I intentionally set things up to catch him red handed and confront him about it. When I did, he broke down in tears and confessed his feelings to me... which I rejected at first. It wasn't a nice moment, in his desperation he tried to force himself on me. I had to fight him off and forbade him from coming back home. It took nearly a month for me to come around and search for him, after realizing I did want him. We made love for the first time the night I asked him back.
    I was way too lucky, as you can see, so I really don't recommend confronting him upfront, it can backfire catastrophically. The only one that can possibily assess your chances accurately is you, but it sounds to me that he's attracted to you at the very least: sleeping nude with your own mother isn't conventional by any standard, much less at his age, and it would seem like he might have even touched you while you were asleep. Perhaps he could make a move if you keep on trying the same tactic.

  • Indeed sleeping the way we do isn’t conventional. But when we’ve always been so open, it’s not necessarily sexual either. But you do raise a good point. I hadn’t considered he’d possibly played with me while I slept. This idea had me so excited last night, I tried to pretend to sleep as long as possible, hoping he’d do just that. But nothing happened. But I did once again wake in the night to him spooning me, holding my breasts, and he was fully erect between my cheeks. I ground back against him but he never moved. So he was either sound asleep, or he was pretending. I want him so much. I so wanted to take him in my mouth, but that’s definitely a risky move. Barb

  • Has he ever accidentally caught you doing anything sexual, like masturbating? What would his reaction to that would be? What if you did the spooning and put your hand on him? How does he respond to that? What does he do with his erection?

  • So far whenever I’ve done that he’s been asleep, or pretending to be. He’s never caught me masterbating that I know of.

  • What does he do with his erection? What if you did the spooning and put your hand on him?

  • He groans when I touch it. Even works his hips a bit. I find it between my legs or cheeks.

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