I may have been violated during my first gynecological exam

I am 25 years old now and sexually active. I feel like I may have been violated during my first gynecological exam when I was a naive 18 year old virgin. My mother scheduled the exam for me prior to me going off to my freshman year of college. My mother drove me to the exam but was not in the exam room with me. The doctor's nurse checked me in, took me into the exam room, told me how to get changed, did some basic things like took my blood pressure, but wasn't in the room during the actual exam. I didn't think too much of it at the time but now I know enough to know that wasn't right. I was very nervous and flustered when the male gynecologist came into the room. Looking back, he performed my breast exam NOT wearing any gloves. He asked me a LOT of questions about my sexual history - of which there was none. But, he asked things like had I had intercourse before, had I had anal intercourse before, had I been fingered before, had I given or received oral sex before, and did I masturbate and if I did could I orgasm while masturbating. The answer to all questions was "No!" I told him I was a virgin and hadn't even tried tampons yet, let alone sex! He told me that was good news and to be watchful in college because there will be boys there that will pressure me into performing oral sex and anal sex, while telling me I will remain a virgin. It was a really weird conversation! Finally it was time for my pelvic exam and the doctor guided me into position and thankfully put on a pair of exam gloves! He sat down on a small rolling stool and positioned himself between my legs. He began to examine me and started commenting on my hymen of all things. He said things like your hymen is fully intact, it's beautifully intact, it appears full and thick. When he went to inset the speculum he said things like I'm inserting the speculum now, it may stretch or tear your hymen, it's going in now, I see your hymen stretching some, I'm opening the blades so I can examine you, your hymen just tore slightly, don't worry even though I just damaged your hymen you are still a virgin. The entire time he's talking and I'm thinking it's pretty weird, I am in some real discomfort from the HUGE thing he's shoving in my vagina and spreading open! He removed the speculum and said we were moving onto the 2nd part of the exam. He stood between my legs and inserted a finger DEEP into my vagina. He checked just about everywhere and was really moving it around in there! After about a minute he took his finger out and I could see him applying some more lube to his exam glove. Hr said he needed to do a more thorough exam using two fingers. He pushed two fingers in me and I swear I almost fainted. 5 minutes ago I had never even had a tampon in my vagina! Thankfully it didn't last long, he took his fingers out, and removed his gloves - I thought it was over. He put on a fresh pair of gloves and lubed one finger while telling me it was time for him to perform a rectal exam on me. Yikes! He positioned himself between my legs again and all of a sudden I had his finger up my butt! Yeow! Not fun at all. He wasn't done with me yet. He inserted a 2nd finger into my butt. IT HURT! While he has two fingers up my butt he starts telling that even though you can't get pregnant from anal sex, that if you allow the guy to do it without protection on you can still catch a disease. He took his fingers out of my very sore butt and told me to sit up. He then asked me if I knew what happened when a guy ejaculated. I was like "Ahhhh, sperm come out?" He then said that depending on the guy it can be quite a bit of sperm and that I should never let a guy do that in my vagina, mouth, or butt unless he has protection on. I didn't know what to say to that? He handed me a maxi pad and said the exam was over and I could get dressed. I asked him what the pad was for and he said I was bleeding a little from the speculum stretching my hymen and that it was pretty common in virgins. Thinking about all of this years later, I think the doctor had a erection in his pants at the end of the exam. YUCK!

Christine M.

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