I'm a teen (not telling age), but i been spanked lots of times by my parents when i was younger and hated it. It stings and i cry and feel bad. they werent abusive or anything, but if i was bad (even just a little) like between age 5 and 11, id get a spanking (mostly by mom) on my bare bottom. But ever since like 7th grade, i think about spankings ALL THE TIME!!! Like i wonder if friends or classmates still get spanked. I wonder what it would be like if my teacher spanked me, or the principal or a bus driver? Why am i so obsessed??? its always been a turn on for me. i even remember being 11, alone in my house and spanking myself with a ruler and literally yelling "your a naughty naughty little girl!!". I still lay over a pillow when im alone thinking its someone lap. i even spank my own vagina and say the same thing in my head over and over and over. Will i every get over this? this is like my deepest darkest secret. I dont tell anyone cause im sure they will think im completely bonkers. ive seen EVERY single spanking video online from free porn sites since age 13 and i imagine myself as the girl over the guy or womans lap as long as they are skinny like me.
So now recently my bff's and I were just goofin around and her mom was like "your so naughty" to me. My mind was ZOOMING. Like, Would she sit in that chair and pull me over her lap and spank me with my panties down? I dont even think i can look at her anymore without thinking about her spanking me. How do i get over this?? will i always be this way? So confused and embarrassed.