My life is screwed up

So the story starts out in high school when I had a crush on this really hot guy, and I thought we might have a thing between us, but then my best friend (although she was just a friend at the time) asked him out and he said yes. I hadn't specifically told her that I liked him, so it wasn't her fault, but I had subtly implied it, although I don't hold it against her. Anyway they were dating through junior year and I got over it and in senior year I dated this other guy whom I really cared about (and we had fucking hot sex ;) ) but we broke up the summer before college. It turns out that my friend (who was now my BEST friend) was going to a college in a different state and her boyfriend (my earlier crush) was going to the same college as me. We were friends at first but I could see that I was falling for him hard and he sometimes confessed to me that he felt that his relationship (with my best friend) wasn't working out. One day we were talking and he kissed me and we ended up in bed and he fucked me and made love to me and it was so good and I had like 5 orgasms. The next day when we met after class he implied that he wanted to have sex again and I couldn't help it because I feel so much with him and almost love him and so we keep having sex now, regularly, and its amazing but he's still in a relationship with my best friend and I feel so guilty because I ruined her relationship and he hasn't told her and she doesn't know but we still keep making love because its so good and right, and I fucking love him. I love him. But my poor best friend... I betrayed her... So I told this guy to tell her so that maybe then, we could have a real relationship or nothing because I can't keep betraying her because I love her too and he hasn't told her yet so I'm staying away from him but I'm so scared. My life is completely screwed up or will be soon...

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