Last night I didn't asked him, I wanted to

Was out with a bunch of friends last night , we met at a popular resturant. One of the guys ( was only 2 guys there) I've known for a long time, he's a really nice person. By the time it was 9pm I had 3 drinks in me and was feeling good. My friend was sitting across from me at the table. I was getting horny looking at him, he's not bad looking. We never had sex but he did asked me to have sex several years ago and I said no. We're both single and middle aged. Later on I was sorry I said no. I am not good looking, rather ugly in fact and I'm fat, that's why I really said no, I was embarrased to let him see my body, I have small odd looking tits, a big stomach, and a big fat ass, I havent had sex in 9 years other then masturbating. He dates and when he does he usually has nice looking women so I feel inferior compared to the women I know he's had sex with. I wish I never said no to him, even if it was a one time thing, I should of did it with him for me and my needs. I'd love him to come over and use me for sex. I have a way of ruining things like that, I'm mad at myself for depriving him and myself of sex. I'm thinking about asking him to come over, I'd love to have him, I'm so ready to have sex with him, think I could I ask him to come play with me being I had turned him down when he was in need ?

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