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It wasn't a crime
I'm only confessing this because it's due time i did so. above all else, i should say that, in the same way not everything legal is right, not everything illegal is wrong.
i was a very precocious girl, my first sexual experience happened when i was nearly 12 years old, with a boy that was slightly older than me, a friend's brother. my mom always made sure i knew what i was doing, she talked with me about sex openly, in order for me to avoid doing the mistakes she made (she became a single mom very young, remained so after having me, and raised me alone). of course i never told her about all my experiences, but she ensured i was well-informed, sexually. i have never been pregnant, never had a STD, and i've never had non-consensual sex.
and when i was very young, i had what most would call a forbidden lover. for years, no one knew about us.
a man lived in our same appartment building. he was quite older, i'll leave it at that. he was very kind and caring of all his neighbors, but he was also very sad, he had lost his wife years before, and hadn't remarried or even dated anyone after that. he grew close to my mother (not in a sexual way), and they became friends. my mom worked a lot to make ends meet, so he would be my babysitter even since i was a little kid. as i grew older, i developed a huge crush on him.
but since i was precocious, sexually active and experienced from a young age, i was used to acting on my impulses. i'll be short on the specifics, but surely you know by now where this is going: one night i seduced him and gave him a handjob. years later he would admit he didn't resist out of a serious case of blue balls, but shortly after he was so riddled with guilt he disappeared from the city. we didn't hear about him for weeks, i feared he could have hurt himself, but he just took a vacation to get away.
it was difficult, but after he came back we sorted things out... we confessed our feelings for each other and yes, we became a couple in secret. i have no doubt i knew what i was doing, that's what i wanted, and he never forced anything on me. i loved him so much, and he felt the same, and while we knew we would have to wait to come out openly until i turned of age, he would always care for me secretly. he was the man that showed me the difference between having sex and making love. i was definitely committed to him and didn't date any other men until we were torn apart, and even for years after that.
one day, we were caught by one of our neighbors, who called the police. we had to confess everything. even if nothing was forced, it was still illegal, and he had a lengthy sentence forced on him. my mom had her lawyer go all out on him, and since it's one of the worst crimes where we're from, it was ensured he would spend the rest of his days in there.
it took years of heartbreak, but i eventually moved on. my relationship with my mom was damaged, but we remain on good terms, i understand she did it to take care of me. but the reason i confess this is because i learned he passed away in jail last weekend. while i have found success and now have a family of my own (i'm actually in my 40's now), it broke my heart to hear that. it's a story that very few people know, and i believe it's a small way to honor him, to tell the world how much i loved him.
It doesn't honor him; he was a pedophile. Doesn't matter if you knew or wanted it; he should've said no and have a childhood being a real child. You are like a bunch of other whory girls who do what they want and don't think of the wives, kids, or other people involved. It isn't a loving story. He was a sad man and maybe he could've found someone to make him happy, but instead he spent the rest of his days in prison regretting what he did with you. The fact that you had problems with your mom and still don't understand how wrong it was shows you really haven't grown up. Playing grown up games has consequences.
About the same happened to me. I fell in love with my uncle and when I was 13 I gave him my cherry and we became lovers for several years when ever we got the chance to be alone.
At 16 we got caught by mom and legal age here is 18 so she pressed charges against him and he got 25 years and died in prison. Mom wouldn't allow me to go visit him and when I turned 18 I did on my own. I visited with him as often as I could and I watched him as his health went down hill and I felt so sorry for him and two years later he died and he actually died in my arms at the prison.
I was a basket case for nearly three years going to council and therapy I am still not over loosing him the way I did but at least I am on my way to let myself go on a date with a guy.
I'll be 26 in October and I'll always remember the time my uncle and I had together. We knew we did wrong from the start but our love for each other didn't matter. To this date my mom and I no longer communicate and I don't know if I can ever.
At least I have very fond memories of the times my uncle and I were together and a lot of photos which I kept out of th hands of the law and away from mom. My uncle was a photographer and developed all of the pics and he'd destroy the negatives so there was no trace. It wasn't all sex with him for he spent a lot of time with me taking me places, to movies, lunch and dinners and for three years we spent a lot of time together and yes mom knew for she'd call him to come over and spend the day with me for she went out screwing around, she pawned me onto my uncle no wonder I fell for him, he was more family than my own mom and she did this to him and yet she blamed him, yes he was wrong for I was young, but to me that didn't matter.
It isn't normal and to be as old as you are and not understand incest is wrong is mind blowing. How can you punish your mom for wanting to protect you. I would gun down someone in my family that did that. Grow up. And you say it didn't matter to you; well he paid the price by rotting in jail and that should matter enough for you to see it was wrong. He had to learn his lesson; it seems him wasting his life away/rotting in jail didn't teach you a lesson at all. He paid the price; you should learn the lesson or he died in vain.
In contemporary society, there's no room for complexity or nuance when it comes to incidents like this. Maybe someday we'll be mature enough to analyze these cases individually and admit that everything isn't always cut and dried, without seeming to be coddling pedophiles. We're a very knee-jerk, immature bunch.
I wish this site had a thumbs down. It isn't immature to protect kids under 18; it is decent, especially in incest cases.