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I have never told anyone
Thirty two years ago two men came into the house thru the back door. I was home alone by that time of the morning. I was scared out of my wits but when they tied me up and set me on the floor so gently I was actually thinking good all they want are things around the house. They left after a short time and I began to struggle around to get loose without any luck. Suddenly I felt myself getting rolled over onto my back. He lifted my hips up and pulled everything out of the way then I felt his rough face pressed right against my naked body. His tongue explored me for quite some time and his hands made their was up under my blouse pushing my bra up. He was rough but not in a harming way. When he was finished hours later he cut the ropes from my arms and I laid there for a few minutes still pulsating from countless orgasms.
My husband asked me years later why I loved being bound and made love to occasionally and I just told him that I love the out of control feelings it brings on.
When you was a thirteen years old boy, I watched as my mother was fucked by three guys on a picnic table
We were with a guy she met and they took us to a camp ground for a barbeque. I watched as they took turns on her from the car. She was fighting against them but it stop them. Years later I started to masturbate tthinking about it.I can still remember seeing her bent over the end of the picnic table with two guys holding her down and the other fucking her.
I was walking alone to my car one night and a guy comes from behind me, puts his hand over my mouth an pulls me down a dark nearby stairwell. He presses me up against a wall and tells me not to struggle and I won't be hurt. He was big and his grip was tight, but he said things like, "I don't want to hurt you. I just need to touch you. I don't do things like this. I just saw you and you're so pretty." The words were soft but the grip was still tight.
He keeps me pinned to the wall, and takes his other hand and unhooks my jeans. I start shaking. He says, "I'm not going to rape you, I promise, just be still and everything will be ok." He pushes my jeans down some and then puts his hand down my panties. He starts rubbing my pussy and says, "Stay calm, this is all I'm going to do. I promise, this is all I'm going to do." He kept talking that way, and after awhile I feel his fingers go inside me. He fingered me very gently, and I was ashamed because I was actually getting wet and excited. I orgasmed but I tried not to show it.
He keeps doing this for awhile, and then he stops and pulls his hand out of my panties. He said, "Thank you. I'm so sorry, but thank you. I'm going to let go now and walk up the stairs. You can leave after you're sure I'm gone. You're not going to yell or anything. I do have a gun. I've been straight with you so you be straight with me."
I nodded and he turned around and did what he said. I pulled up my jeans and waited I don't know how long. I finally came up, hurried to my car and went home.
I felt a hundred different ways about it at the time, but now I look back and I feel like I was his angel or savior in some weird way. I know I'm supposed to be angry to this day but I'm not. I still masturbate about it sometimes.
I still remember mom's advice when I was a young girl. If you're ever caught in a situation where a man or a strong young man wants something from you "DON'T FIGHT" for you'll only end up getting more hurt.
This young woman found out it's true as I did just after when I turned 19 walking home from the bus stop late night and three Hispanics jumped out of the bushes and attacked me. Yes all three had their way with me several times over and I wasn't hurt other than getting fucked several times by horny young men.
I am 23 now and to this day I still gets visits from two of them whenever they get horney.