Bus Driver

So, lately I have been flirting with a Bus driver that I see every day. It is absolutely amazing to see the way he lights up when we are talking. Whenever I look him in his eyes I cannot look away from him. His eyes are deep and expressive. I can clearly see the mutual attraction. So one day I decide to find out for sure that he is interested and he is. He told me once that he had kids and he never mentioned whether he was married or not, so I'm thinking score since I didn't see any wedding band or ring. However, just to be clear I asked him anyway if he was married while looking in his eyes. The look of someone who just got backed into a corner came across his face. It was like he was trying to figure out whether to lie or tell the truth. He said yes. So, I immediately went into defense mode and came back with, "Well, that's too bad then." Then I started walking away and then he asks me, "Well, are you married?" I turned around and said no. He then asked me, "today's your day off right?" I said yes and then I walked off the bus and got on another bus, immediately, bursting into tears once he can't see me. Most of the time I either feel invisible or I just mind my own business. I don't really look for men. I just find men I like every now and then without putting the effort into it. So when I find a guy I like it's really important, because I am so awkward. Well the next few days I see him I say hi and bye. He would look at me through the mirror occasionally like he's waiting for me to start talking to him again. After a few days have gone by while he's driving he reaches his arm back and starts gesturing at me. I couldn't hear him or see him because I had some lg tones on. I just happened to catch a glimpse of his gesturing while I wait for my stop. I took the ear buds out and he then starts carrying on a conversation like nothing had happened. As the days are passing I start finding my interest in him again. This is not me. I never do things like this, but I start fantasizing about him and me together. This man and his personality has got me wrapped around his little finger and I know if he touches me I'm done. So, why do I start to deliberately take his bus at different times of the day. He knows I like him and it's obvious. What's even more obvious he reciprocates. I had to work all night shifts this week, so I didn't get to see him until the day I had to go buy some detergent. I had my head in my phone when he pulled up so when I got on the bus the first thing he did was lean over to see what I was looking at on my phone. I was looking for coupons and he asked me what I was buying. That's the first time I felt like he was monitoring me a bit, but then I was sure of it when he was upset with me for having not been there those last few days. Before I got off the bus, he told me what time he wanted me to take the bus the next morning and like an idiot I took the bus at that time the next morning. He new he really had me when I showed up for his last run. Absentmindedly I asked him what time the bus was leaving the transit center(granted I was almost dead on my feet because I had only 2 hours of sleep) His answer was you tell me, what time is the bus leaving? I just don't know what to do. This man is married. I don't want to mess with a married man. However, somehow I gave him control and I am not sure how it happened.

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