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I'm sad.
I'm sad.
I recently got married a few months ago and I thought we'd start having sex more often because we barely hooked up before, but I'm so disappointed it only happens once a week or twice at the most. I don't know if I just have a high sex drive, but my husband doesn't seem as interested as I am, and I wish I could have it every day.
I want to feel wanted and desired. I want to be able to seduce him but he doesn't get turned on that easily. Now I'm blaming it on myself because I'm overweight and I'm wondering if that's why, although I know he's telling the truth when he says it doesn't bother him. But somehow I doubt it and think I'm just not hot enough or good looking enough for his taste...
At the same time though, he doesn't masturbate behind my back..and he smokes up so I assume he just has a low sex drive in general.
but before marriage he couldn't wait to hump me every chance he could get...what's changed? :(
I'm just so sad..
I feel lonely and unwanted..and undesirable...
meanwhile I just crave his attention and love and have the sexual appetite of a primate...
sometimes I want to masturbate to calm myself down but I always end up crying afterwards because it's just so shameful to masturbate behind his back in the bathroom. I feel so ashamed and dirty and I hate myself.
I truly hate myself..
And I can't help but be secretly angry and frustrated with him because he'd rather play video games and smoke up than have sex.
But to make things fair, He is the best guy I've ever known and he's always comes up to me and cuddles, lightly kisses my face and play childish little games with me and I LOVE it. But sometimes I just want him so close to my body.
Last night he held me so close in bed before sleep..and I almost felt that maybe this is what I'm craving, rather than sex.. Maybe it's just his embrace. I even thought if only I could sleep in his arms like that, I'd feel so much better. Like this hungry wild need inside me would curb. But of course...He can't sleep like that cuz it's not the most comfortable and sometimes it's not too comfortable for me either..which sucks...
I don't know what to do. I'm at loss. I'm trying to lose weight at the moment..and I'm REALLY hoping that CHANGES something. Cause if it doesn't. I don't know what I'll do :(. I don't know how more sad I could get :(. I'm almost depressed...
He doesn't even like it when I initiate. Only worked a couple of times. In fact once I dressed all up for him and he just continued playing video games. He likes to chase, I know. But I can't wait THAT LONG for him to come and get some!! Yes, I need sex everyday!! I don't know what's wrong with me or why but that's just how it is and I feel less loved when he doesn't approach me. I feel ugly and miserable.
HELP ME!
Female/44, married for 16 years, 2 kids.
Have an affair.
I've had numerous workplace affairs with married men. Mostly bosses and managers. Trust me. Just try it. You wouldn't believe how easy it is and your lucky guy will make all the arrangements because divorce is messy and expensive.
Never say that you feel ugly and miserable! You are beautiful and you need confidence. I work my butt off in the gym to remain a size small but I also know what guys want. They love getting flirted with. They love it when you act like you're into them. Go to the spa, get a fresh pedi and manicure and new trendy hairstyle. Find your prey and with confidence flirt! It's just sex and we all crave a good time in the bedroom.
The funny thing is, my wife and I had sex all the time before we got married. after it went way down hill until I started cheating. I've been with more women now that I'm married than the 26 years prior. now that I sleep around, I don't know what it is. maybe a 6th sense or something but she wants it more often now.
Well that's plain stupid. Stop cheating on your wife or else give her the same privilege of being with someone else and get a divorce. The fact that you say that so coldly, shows how far off your moral compass is. You should be ashamed of yourself.
i used to feel the same way about my husband after we had our daughter. he has always been into video games and sometimes just to get him started i go into the living room when he is playing his video game and start giving him a BJ! trust me he will forget all about that stupid video game! i am a bigger woman and i was when he married me, and we used to have sex all day, every day on the weekends and at least twice a day during the week! but after we had our daughter it slowed way down because we were a little stressed being first time parents and he just started a new job trying to provide for our little family. he loves me and i know he does because he shows me in other ways as well as sex! but i know how you feel about needing sex to feel sexy! you want him to desire you like he should! try to talk to him about it! it worked for me! i wish you all the best! and if you are going to lose weight do it for yourself because if you do it for the wrong reasons you will not keep it off or you will get burned out trying to please someone else!! trust me i know! good luck sweetie!
what are you complaining about - he married you didn't he - your job is to have kids and keep the house clean - don't worry about him, he will be getting plenty of sex elsewhere.
You can go F*** yourself!.......if you're a woman it's obvious you're saying that, because more than likely that's the the relationship your parents must have had, and if that's the case I feel sorry for your mother. However if you're a dude, u should be worried. Especially,if u are married, because you'll probably end up dying alone and I can assure you that your wife is and has been getting dicked down by a real man! Dudes that say things like that, are usually the ones that have little 3 inch penises, you talk down on women because that is the only way u can compensate for not having enough manhood between your legs. . . If and when u get upset after reading this and you decide to retaliate with words because of what I have said. It's ok! Lol I'll laugh it off because you would have confirmed it...... So whomever you are, if you have nothing helpful to say about this girl's situation, then don't say anything at all. JERK!
Try to lose weight and dress sexier, not like a slut but more alluring. I myself was put off when my wife became weighty, now she's lost all the weight she put on I find I'm more attracted to her sexually. We now have horny but loving sex at least five times a week.
bLACK GUYS DO LOVE BIG GIRLS! AND THEY WILL DO YOU RIGHT! MMMM YES! I KNOW! I MARRIED ONE!
My wife has kept things interesting by throwing "surprises" at me. If these don't work - then something is wrong with him. Don't assume it isn't physical and he's not interested for some reason that is medically related. For example, if someone has an iron deficiency (anemia) it will impact their ability to get an erection.
In terms of surprises, my wife has:
- Come back from the restroom at a restaurant and slipped her panties into my pocket.
- Used her foot to massage my crotch while having wine at a nearby vinyard.
- Asked me to come upstairs into our bedroom to help with something only to find her wearing only her sexiest CFMPs.
-After getting fully dressed for a night out she asked if I could put some lotion on her legs and kept suggesting I go a bit higher.
If you're fat and horny, just go hang out where black guys congregate (unemployment line, b-ball court, KFC, etc.) They'll be happy to accommodate you.
Donny, please watch your comments, that was extremely distasteful. You should be ashamed of yourself.
You being overweight has nothing to do with your husband's low sex drive. Before he married you, you were overweight so that should tell you he loves you. I feel really bad that this is happening to you, but instead of you trying to seduce him while he's playing video games, why not join him? Get him an ashtray when he's smoking. Be his friend and pal, not just his wife. Go out and have fun. Confidence is sexy. Masturbate if you want, you could do it in front of him, that could even turn him on. Just let him know you are happy and cofident in yourself. Don't ever try to force him because it won't work. Appreciate the little he gives. Most of all, pray. God will help you.
Well, to be mysterious you need to speak less of what is on your mind. You don't need to tell him everything to the point that he can read you like the back of his hand. You don't need to explain everything you do or are up to. You need to have your own life apart from his. You need to be able to stand on your own two feet and be confident in them. You need to shun being insecure. You need to do stuff that you enjoy.
Here's my search link and a result:
http://www.google.com/search?q=how to be mysterious to enhance your femininity
http://theartofbeingfeminine.blogspot.ca/2010/09/how-to-increase-chemistry-in.html
What the fuck? This guys gay or something
Women break up 99% of marriages with "princess complex" by acting like they are above sex....you husband hates you, so STOP ACTING LIKE A PRINCESS!
you are an idiot! she said she WANTS SEX with her husband! she never said she was above having sex! you're stupid! learn to read retard!
Once or twice a week??
After a dozen or so years of being married, a few kids with a lot of demands on your time and money, and some extra weight - once or twice a month will look like a lot.
Thank you guys so much for your advice and support. It really put a smile on my face :). I'll take all your advice to heart.
To the person who said I should be mysterious..how can I achieve this?
I HAVE A HUGE SEX DRIVE TOO GIRL... YOU ARE NORMAL AND ITS NOT YOUR FAULT.. BUT ITS ALSO GOOD TO STAY IN SHAPE AND SEXY FOR YOUR HUSBAND...
I think it is important not to feel shame about masturbating. Not everyone has teh same level of sex drive. It is healthy to let it out, and do you both of you a favor.
I suppose that your husband is a pure gay...
Once people know they have something they lose interest so it is up to you to make yourself mysterious and an unknown quantity so he doesn't take you for granted.
You need to lose the excess weight by restricting what you eat and do more exercise, such as walking 10,000 daily steps or an hour of cycling moderately.
You need to tell your spouse your concerns and ask him to help you with your needs. He can't read your mind so enlighten him. He may come around. If he ignores you and is rude then you have a problem but you've written that he is nice and cuddles you so why the self-loathing? Perhaps he is getting turned off by your poor self-image and self-pity(if you are indicating it-a definite no-no as it is unattractive). Bonne chance 8-).
i'm sorrey to hear that he doesn't want to do it everyday. Have you tried talking to a counsellor about this at all? Also, i understand your urge to want to do it everyday. I have a high sex drive as well so just know that you are normal.
Hope all goes well for you!
Always keep a spare tire
shove an aneros (buy on amazon) up his ass...he will want to fuck