Depravity

I wish I was raped/SA’ed when I was younger, either by someone the same age as me or older. I know many people were sexually active even as early as 13 and yet I haven’t ever touched a single girl in my life, and I’m almost done with college. I understand that sexual assault is a life ruining and mentally damage experience for victims, and I do sympathize for them, but because I’m mentally ill and depraved of anything sexual in my life, I sometimes wish it happened to me instead. I can’t date because I’m ugly and uncharismatic so the only way I see myself in such situation is if someone takes advantage of me.

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