There’s a man I want to fuck but he’s 9 years younger

I have never been the most confident with men and now at 44 I hadn’t had sex or a relationship with a man in 9 years. That’s when I seperated from my husband.

We had 2 kids together and to begin I wanted some time to myself, add in the young children and life got in the way. Now 9 years on while I really felt ready for some sex. I just wanted a man to take control of me, hold me and make me orgasm. Having not been that confident in the first place though and now with a decade since I last had it - I felt very anxious about it.

I was worried about being a bit rusty, having to get naked and just generally being intimate with a new man felt a strange thing.

I had interest and my friends were all desperate to set me up but I just made excuses.

I had become a bit of an independent woman and despite trying to be the best feminist I could, deep down I was very unconfident and very submissive. Some nights I would watch some soft porn and would be close to touching myself, I would certainly be moist and that piint I would turn it off as I couldn’t bring myself to touch my pus. It seemed so vulgar and unlady like.

There was this guy at work - he was called George. I think deep down I sort of thought he was attractive. He was genuinely very handsome, he was funny, quite intelligent and friendly enough. He was a Line Manager so one level more Senior than I was, I was a HR co-ordinator. He was 35 years old and had kids himself. In my head he was too young for me anyway.

I didn’t obsess over him or anything, most of the time I would forget about him but if I did speak to him we would have a laugh.

One day there was a scenario though where something out of the blue happened. I use to volunteer two nights a week at my local community centre as my parents use to be involved there. There use to be a life drawing class that two of the girls at work went to which was hosted at the community centre. They use to ask male colleagues to volunteer as models and they would always oblige. So I while I was working behind the serving hatch I often use to see what was going on.

One day though after I had just arrived at the Community Centre George arrived as he was dropping off some old beer glasses and mugs as a donation which had been arranged via one of the female colleaguea who attends the life drawing class. He started to get into conversation with Maggie and Alex who ran the class. Maggie is in her early 50s and Alex who is gay in his early 40s. George was asking them a couple of questions about the class and was obviously very curious.

With that Maggie put him on the spot “you seem to be very interested George, we only have a female model tonight fancy volunteering as our male model!? Certainly would be a bucket list to tick off!” She said smiling. George was put on the spot. I never thought he would even consider it! George was considering it though “erm, well it would be a really good test of my self confidence!” He laughed. Was this just a diversion or was he seeious!? The female colleagues we knew from work had overheard this in the background started cheering “go on George! George! George!” He smiled back “go on then! I can’t really believe I’m about to do this!”

This stopped me in my tracks. I was slightly gobsmacked I mean the male colleagues who usually volunteered were the lairy blokes probably despearate for an opportunity to peacock. George was more reserved, quite elegant in a way. I started to feel very excited and I felt my heart suddenly start to rush. I couldn’t help but start to wonder how big would he be? Would be curcumcised? I was actually now really hoping this was gonna happen. As I said, I had seen some male colleagues in the nudey previously from being there volunteering but I had never been that interested. I had never really been bothered by the sight of a penis, I mean their ok but I was normally more interested in a man’s personality. So what was happening to me here!?

That night there were 10 taking part and about a 50/50 split between men and women. Maggie handed him a robe and he went behind a curtain to undress. I made sure ai was in a position that I would get to have a look at him when he took his robe off. George entered the room in his robe and sure enough he removed it and hung it up on the coat rack.

I was just in shock firstly I couldn’t believe this was actually happening and I was looking at George’s manly bits, secondly that he didn’t seem that phased by it - showing off his most private parts with girls around, his confidence here made him very attractive but the icing on the cake was that it was pretty big and I guess that’s why he was unphased - he was pretty sure of what he had.

He was circumcised and so I could see his pink helmet, his pee-pee and balls were very dangly and I couldn’t help start to imagine what it may look like if he had a hard on. I started to feel my toes wriggling and the blood rushing to my nipples. He also had a decent body, especially his thies which were like rugby thies.

I found it really difficult to focus in the kitchen where I was meant to serving drinks and tidying everything up. I kept looking up to have another glimpse at his thingy trying to make it subtle so that he or anyone else for that matter wouldn’t notice.

That night when I got home I couldn’t stop thinking about him and the whole situation. I kept replaying it in my mind.
As I did I started to feel myself getting wet, I couldn’t help have a gentle touch of myself. I now started imagining him fucking me.

I needed something to rub against my pussy and I had a cylinder shape cushion so I took my knickers off and decided to sit on it. I started to rub myself against it faster and faster imagining I was sucking his cock. The idea of his moist helmet against my lips and teeth and I then imagined he was inside me and he was holding me and pressing his body against mine.

I was feeling very confused that’s for sure! Was it wrong of me to have these thoughts about a man in his 30s?

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