I can't stop meeting pervy old men online

I'm 22, female and for as long as I can remember I've always been very attracted to older men, though ive developed a problem with being faithful and it's kind of ruining my relationships lol.

I had a friend stay over one night and she ended up introducing me to online chat sites and anonymously flashing men on cams, though she'd never met anyone before.
As soon as she left i made a profile on a few UK hook up sites I'd found and was quickly flooded with lots of messages. I opened a few of them from the older men and said hi back. Had a looooot of dick pics in that inbox :p I had no profile pic then but the day after I sent 2 guys a picture of me bent over in shorts as I didn't want to show my face and one of them said about anon stuff though I wasn't up for it.
I masterbated a lot to outdoor porn a lot then and came across one where a girl was bent over a gate waiting for someone with something covering the top half and became obsessed with the idea.

One lived a 10 min drive away, in his 60s and was equally obsessed with eating my ass + I lived next to the woods I know quite well so agreed to meet anon on the condition he turns up, eats me then leaves.
A little Into the woods there was a tree on the floor, told him to meet there and I got there an hour early feeling proper nervous, but masterbated twice and calmed down lol.
Got a text to say he's walking down the path so I bent over the tree, pulled my shorts down and put a towel over my head and waited. Heard someone walking nearby and Instantly felt myself go seriously wet.
He walked up to me without saying anything, stuck his face straight into my ass, and pushed his tongue in. I wanted my pussy eaten more than anything but realised this felt really really good. I was moaning but still too nervous to speak tbh.

After about half hour or so he takes his cock out and tells me he's gonna make himself cum while he eats my ass and I nod. I badly wanted to taste cum at that point but didn't say anything and he cums pretty fast, tells me how nice my ass is and leaves saying he'll message me.

I couldn't get cum out of my brain then for a few days. I'd arranged to meet him again In a few weeks but ended up meeting the other guy after telling him a few days after so he could walk into my mouth. Gave him my first blowjob that night and made him cum twice lol. .

Since then I've got worse, my body count for giving blowjobs was over 100 by the time I was 19 and no matter how good I feel about my bf or relationship I always end up meeting loads of guys on the sly. I've tried open relationships and stuff but he was never comfortable with it.
Plus for some reason I only seem to want relationships with boys my own age, but only go for older men (50+) for random sex. Brains are weird x

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