I Be Knowin' Me Sum Crayze Muther Fokkers, I Is Da Poster Bouy.

I kums from Downe Alabamee Way gots shit ta tell ya
Gots me sum portantē shite to say
I bees tolkin low low rent
Bouts a lying ole black hoe for White Hause Scam ass Resident.

Slut mite bee a Milk Chalkelate Nigga I dun't knose
I knose shez a pig myite bee pretend shez a Jig.
Dis bytch is a Witch
Sucks dick like takin' chrom off da trailler hitch
Lyon ass hoe kunt's a devil rottun wytch
Yous all betta not vote fo no deemun from hell shes wuz sent ta killz, currupt destroy fuckin' bytch ain't 'bout no joy!
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I was handed the letter above on a recent business trip to Alabama. An old man, former share-cropper, called himself, Raastud Buckwheat the III. RB3 he preferred to be addressed, jokingly saying, "Jus don't calls my old ass late fo dinner." Trying to remain as close as possible to his 2nd grade, vernacular, grammatical speech. I think it is quintessential to portray this hard-working old negro of 102 years.

Old R.Buckwheat told me he was born in Savannah-Lamar Township ( est. by Spaniards) in Jamaica in, as R. Buckwheat put it, ",In da yar of da Lawd, 19 hundred an 22" He went on to say, "Na Sir! I weren't born no free man, ma peoples wuz slaves." His face Grimace, a sadness came over his wrinkled countenance, almost as if a haunting memory had invaded his thoughts. I didn't feel it appropriate to pry into his feelings, I said, Buckwheat, tell me more, you know, about your history, your folks, wives or whatever you feel at ease speaking about.
Moreover, I wanted to know more about the letter he'd entrusted me. Buck, short for Buckwheat cleared his throat, " "Weel Sir, I's tell ya'all, Ma peoples comed from Haiti. Ma own sweet grandmammy was a Voodoo high Priestess, she practiced Santerìa, or Ocha Regla Lucumi, Afro -Caribbean maybe, Afro- Cuban. but it calls dead folks spirits, it be ritual, chickens and shit be sacrificed, da blood of da cocka-doodle-do. Ya see, This all came from west Africa, Slaves bring it. My Mammy was a High priestess."

Buck had my attention. So, RB3, What is or tell me about the letter you gave me. Buck says, " Now lissen close, I's gonna try ta make da warning shorter. I knowed dis yunggun, Donald Harris, his he was a slaveer or slave owner, anyway, this younggun, Donald Harris comes him up with sum Hindu, rag -head female, ya know, They wash themselves in the Ganges river, Filthy water in the world, dey thinks da old moo-cow be holy and sacred." I Coaxed Buck to Continue. Well Sir, Harris and dis rag head The United States, Where they go, And it has themselves a daughter, Bitch came here to visit a couple of times, Call Herself Kamala, Bitch thought she was an Indian goddess. She weren't. I know my voodoo queens, My grandma priestess in voodoo. Dis Kamala I sees her doing, Senteria, bitch da witch be doin' Voodoo rituals, be sacraficing Lawd knows what? ". I ask Buck why, for what? Buck had chills Running down my back As he told me. " Da Bitch wanna cast a spell on Americans, she ask the spirits ta make her da President of the United States, so she can cast spells and do her wicked evil!". Buck, I said, Is that what your letter is about? " Yeez Sir! I be tryin to warn ya'all she be not only evil, I think Old kamala She being cahoots With the antichrist, You know what the bible say about him? I thanked Buckwheat and I am Doing my best to spread his warning.