I am not sure what he wants part 1

At first I was relieved to find out I wasn't alone but now it kinda feels not so special and seems it is a common thing, I am talking about my obsession with my BIL, At first I just liked him because he was nice to me but as I got older I grew to obsess over him and it still affects me to this day, When I was...Well...Let's say this, My half sister is 11 years older than me and he is 2 years older than her so when he was 27 ish I stumbled across him naked, I had stayed at my sisters place to visit and they went out with friends and came home trashed, I was sitting on the couch in the morning and my sister stumbled out of the bedroom in her housecoat, Got a drink and went back to bed swinging the door closed behind her but it didn't close all the way, I walked past the door to their room headed to the room I was staying in and glanced in, It was full on daylight and the blinds didn't block much of the sun but...Wowzers, I had not seen a naked man before in real life and he was always an attractive man.
He was laid out on his back, One arm above his head sleeping and he had a massive erection, To this day probably the biggest I have seen in person and it was HARD, Like it looked like it was about to explode as he laid there sprawled out in the sun, I stood in the hallway and stared and with it being a small house the bedroom was small and beside the door so I was standing the distance of the night table from him and by his head, I swear it covered his belly button, My sister had already crawled back in bed and pulled the covers over herself I assume exposing him.
I don't know how long I stared but I left and went back 3 times before he eventually covered himself back up, From that day on I had a weird obsession with him and I made every excuse possible to go visit so I could try to catch peeks at him, I got caught probably 6 months later after they moved to a new house and had a bathroom attached to the bedroom, My sister had left to go get something and he was in the shower, I had sneaked into the bedroom to peek and the shower had glass doors, I was watching and he was lathering up his body, Big swingin dick flopping around and my sister walked into the bedroom, I was busted spying on her husband and rubbing myself through my sweat pants.
My sister came to my room after a bit and we had a long talk, She told me it was normal at my age to be interested in seeing stuff and that she wasn't going to tell him she busted me spying, The next summer though she caught me being really bad and we didn't talk for a while, I was 15 and they had again gone out partying, I woke up early in the morning and my sister was passed out on the couch, I sneaked to their room and peeked in, My teenage curiosity got the better of me and I tip toed into their room, I pulled the blankets off and there was his big, Beautiful dick but only about half hard, I couldn't help myself and after peeking out the door to make sure my sister was still asleep I touched his dick, He was snoring and I felt it twitch as I ran my fingers up and down it and I watched as it got hard, I put my hand on it and then wrapped my hand around his shaft, I am tall and was skinny but had long fingers compared to my friends and my thumb and middle finger didn't even touch with my hand wrapped around his shaft, I leaned in and kissed his shaft and Suddenly I heard a gasp and my heart jumped, I bolted for the door but my sister was standing in the doorway, She followed me to my room and scolded me, I cried and she cried and then she left, I packed my stuff as she requested and then she drove me to the bus station and I took the 10 hour bus ride home.
It had to be 3 months before we would actually sit down and talk about it, She forgave me and I promised never to do anything like that again, So...I lied, they came to a family wedding and my BIL passed out on their hotel patio in just a towel after having a smoke, Our patios were connected with just a short wall between them, I could see my sister passed out face down on the bed as I spiderman crawled over the wall, Knelt in front of him and opened his towel, I stroked his dick and felt him get hard, I was watching my sister from the side and stroking my BIL when he took a deep breath and sighed, I thought he was cumming but now realize it was just pre cum but he had a lot, I kept stroking it until my sister rolled onto her back and I snuck back to my side of the patio leaving him there with is dick dripping pre cum and rock hard.
A year or so later I was at the lake with them and had a chance to be alone on their boat with him, By this time I had grown an impressive pair of boobs and was a 16 year old with DD's, We ran to the marina for fuel and snacks while my sister packed food for the day, I made sure to wear my skimpiest top and let my boobs slip out a few times, and I know he seen them a couple times, When he went up to pay I slipped off my shorts and adjusted my bottoms so he could see my little, bald, pink pussy, He sat in his seat and I spun to face him, I swear I could see the bulge in his trunks as he put on his sunglasses and pretended not to be looking.
That night he got drunk and we were sitting by the fire, My sister had gone to bed and he was pretty dunk, I had on a bikini top and denim shorts, He was sitting with his legs crossed man style and I could see up the leg of his shorts, I got up and sat beside him and said "Can I tell you something?", He said "Oh sure", I said "I can see your dick", He jumped and adjusted his shorts, He apologized and I said "Well...Actually I was wondering if I could look at it?", He squinted and said "excuse me?", I said "I have never seen one and just thought...Hey...Maybe my BIL will let me see his and show me some stuff about penises since I have vowed to wait till 18 before I have sex". He was very apprehensive and honestly considered showing me but then said "Mmmmm, I don't think so...You're only 16", I said "Please?" and he declined.
I would ask him 3 more times before I turned 17 and 3 weeks after my 17th birthday I asked again and he said "Ok", I said "really?" and he nodded, He stood in front of me sitting n the couch and pulled his shorts down, I pretended I had never touched his dick before and he stood there then said "What would you like to know?", I shrugged and said "I don't know, Just, what feels good and what doesn't, How to make a guy hard and how to make him cum", He was nervous but luckily we knew where my sister was and she wasn't going to catch us, He showed me his knob and his balls and he was half hard, I looked up at him and batted my big, Green eyes, He swallowed hard and said "Do you want to touch it?", I nodded and he said "Go ahead", that's when I learned about pre cum and he explained as I rubbed my thumb across the tip and massaged his knob.
He got nervous and begged me to never tell my sister and I swore I wouldn't, I asked if I could watch him cum and he gulped then said "yes", There was a stack of clean towels on the couch waiting to be put away and I spread one out on my lap, He spit in his hand and started stroking, I watched intently and then looked up at him and said "Is there anything I can do to help?", He said "Take off your shirt", I did and then he said "Bra too", I nodded and said "Yes sir", He moaned and looked down at my big 17 year old boobs and then reached down and cupped one, He said "good gawd...they're so firm". By this time my sister had twins and hers were never bigger than a B but they had actually shrunk and sagged after stopping breast feeding, I pulled the towel up so it was at my stomach and looked at him saying "Be my Dom and cum on them?", He grunted and shot a huge load on my boobs then instructed me to get on my knees and "suck him dry", I fumbled with his huge, Half hard dick in my mouth but did kinda suck it.
Afterward we talked and he explained how wrong it was, I begged him to be my secret Dom and he agreed, I agreed to swear a vow of silence and over the next year he made me do a lot of dirty stuff and his big thing was embarrassing me, He made me go braless a lot if me and him went out in public which we always seemed to find excuses to do, See through tops and no bra with DD's and pale pink nips, Probably 2 months before I turned 18 my sister was at her moms 2 hours away and he instructed me to wear a way too short skirt with nothing underneath, He put me in the truck and drove me an hour to a different town then led me to Walmart, I looked totally inappropriate, Me with long, Skinny legs, No butt, Flatish stomach, DD's and pale skin in a way too see through shirt for public trying my absolute best not to flash my pussy but I know for sure 2 guys seen it, I looked like a hooker and not the expensive kind.
On my 18th birthday I partied with him and my sister and 5 of my friends, He got my sister trashed so she would pass out when we got home and then he sneaked to my room, He fucked me and made me cum so many times, He came 3 times I know of and once inside me, I was so scared but when I looked at him wide eyed and said "Did you cum in me?" he smiled and said "Yes so now that pussy is mine and you will ask me before you do anything else with it", I nodded and said "Yes sir".
For 15 years he dominated everything I did.
See part 2

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