Funny moments 1

My wife's family and friends have provided me with many funny moments of a naughty or adult nature so I thought I would share a few here. My wife is an odd duck, When we met she was highly sexual, Short, Cute and average built with smallish boobs and a round butt and after kids her sex drive died completely.
Her one cousin is almost the same build but has huge boobs and never had any kids so they are still awesome, One night we shared a hotel room at a lake because she had stopped to visit and we all ended up having a few too many to drive home so we were able to get a room at this little hotel lake front, I was laying in bed awake and my wife snoring beside me, Her cousin laying in the other bed and rolled onto her back, I looked over and her tits looked like mountains, I was laying there looking at her and started stroking a little and then she grunted and I stopped, She rolled to face me and got out of bed, She went to the bathroom and I get my cock (Which is impressive btw) out through the pocket in my underwear and positioned myself, When she came out of the bathroom it was perfect, She sat on her bed facing me and grabbed her phone, I made a noise and rolled over pulling the sheets off of me exposing my cock, She sat wide eyed staring and then got up, Leaned over me and looked at it, She took 3 pictures and then pulled the sheets back over me. Afterward she went back to the bathroom and within about 2 minutes I heard a little moan and then she came back, Crawled into bed and went to sleep.
This cousins sister was a bit of a wild child and has a very high sex drive, She is a beautiful woman, Big tits, Great legs, Goes to the gym all the time, One night she got drunk at our house and passed out on the couch, I normally wake up at 5:00 am but they had just gone to bed at 4:30 and my wife woke me up getting into bed so I decided to go grab a coffee and head to work, Her cousin had 2 kids by that time so her big tits were floppy, and I came around the corner into the living room, Her cousin was sitting on the couch topless so I just backed around the corner and watched, She was cupping her big boobs and I was standing to the side sort of half behind her but could see everything, She has big, Veiny tits with big, Brown nips. She lifted one nip and licked it then the other then went back to the first and sucked her own nip, I was like "Hmmm, This is interesting", She lifted one and sucked the nip then bit it, She was pulling it with her teeth and I couldn't see her pussy but I could see that she was rubbing it, It only took her about a minute and a half before she shook a little, Groaned and then lifted her head stretching her nip with her teeth, She moaned and then her nip slipped out of her mouth and she just breathed heavy a bit then stood up, I ducked behind the wall and she stripped down to her thong and then pulled on the PJ pants my wife had given her and one of my t-shirts and laid down, I got to see her ass which is nice so then I made some noise and she quickly put her phone away and pretended to be asleep so I made a coffee and left for work.
My wife's mom is basically a cookie cutter version of my wife but 20 years older, When my wife was 23 and I was 25 we went to Mexico and her mom tagged along, One night I was out on our balcony and my wife had gone to the resorts lobby bar with her mom, I was standing on the balcony and watched the two of them stumbling across the courtyard and then they sat down, My wife noticed me and waved for me to come to them, I wet down and she laughed and said her mom needed help up to the room, I helped her up the stairs to the second floor and my wife continued on to the third floor to our room, Her mom had a nice skirt and blouse on and when we got to her room she flopped face down on the bed, I looked at her legs a bit then rolled her onto her back and said "Why don't you get undressed and get into bed?", She nodded her head and started to unbutton her shirt, I stood right there and she held out one hand, I grabbed the sleeve and pulled and she shuffled off the shirt, She took a deep breath and Unclipped her bra, I thought about leaving but decided to stay ad see how far she would go, She shuffled off her bra and tossed it to the floor, She had very nice little tits, Almost identical to my wife's but a little firmer since she only had one kid and my wife had twins and quit breast feeding shortly before so they were quite saggy. Her mom's skirt had an elastic waist band and she grabbed it by both sides and leaned forward and lifted her butt sliding it down, It slid down her legs and I could see she was wearing nylons with no panties and she had a big bush. She shuffled back on the bed, laid down and pulled her nylons to her thighs and laid there with her big bush and little tits jiggling as she slid her nylons to her thighs then tried pushing them down, She held out one foot to me and I wasn't quite sure what to do but I grabbed her foot then lifted the other, Held them in one hand and then grabbed her nylons with the other hand and pulled them down and off. She just laid there buck naked and had her hands across her stomach, I put one foot in each hand and looked at her, She just laid there and I spread her feet, She just took a deep breath and never tried to close them, She let me spread them wide apart so I could see her little pink pussy lips through her big bush. I rolled her onto the bed and she had an ass almost identical to my wife's and very nice for 43, I covered her up and left.
My wife has another cousin who in her 20's was an absolute smoke show, I would have been....27ish and she would have been 17ish, She was short, White blonde hair, Blue eyes and also big boobs, All her uncles married women with big tits lol. We were going to their family farm and parked in the driveway, Walked into the house and my wife called out, No answer, W walked to the kitchen and my wife laughed and then said "So how do I let her know we are here", I looked out the patio doors and she was laying in a lounge chair facing the house because that's where the sun was, She had on only a pair of headphones, I looked at her then at my wife and and my wife just shook her head, I said "Holy", She had DD's, Very pale skin and a perfect body, Big, Firm tits with big, Light pink areolae about the size of a large coffee mug with little pink nips, A small tuft of blonde pussy hair and gorgeous pink pussy lips with just a hint of inner lips showing at the top and the rest was full innie and very recently shaved. My wife opened the patio doors and walked out, Grabbed the towel folded at the foot of the chair and opened it covering her up, She panicked and jumped up, Whipped her headphones off and screamed. My wife burst out laughing and her cousin hurriedly wrapped up in the towel and then said "Holy shit...You're 3 hours early", We all had a big laugh and she went and got dressed.
We walked in on her male cousin one time in a hotel hot tub and she was sitting on his lap, They didn't expect us and we slid into the water, they were being awkward and then he grabbed her hips and thrust his hips forward, She grunted "Oh fuck" and then got off his lap and slapped him as he laughed, My wife said "Oh fuck...Jesus christ you two" and we all laughed.
The cousin I showed my dick to texted my wife one night and was obviously drunk, they were texting and my wife asked what they were up to, She said "not much" and said something about my wife's boobs, My wife said something about being gross compared to hers and then "DING" my wife said "Holy shit", I looked at my wife and she said "Soooo....Wanna see ********'s tits?", I choked and said "YES!!....I mean...Ya, sure...Pfffft...Whateve's" and my wife laughed then held her phone to show me, I said "Holy shit!!!", My wife said "Uh, So I think she's drunk or something" I asked why and she aid her cousin was asking for a picture of hers, I shrugged and she laughed then said "This is so weird" but she shuffled her shirt up and held her phone out to me, I took a pic and she contemplated for a long time then hit send, She chuckled as they texted and then eventually we went to bed. The next day her cousin came over and was pissed, She said her husband had gotten drunk and high then used her phone to text my wife and 3 of her cousins friends and convince them to send him a pic of their tits (Only my wife and one other did) then passed out on the couch and she found him with the phone, Lotion and kleenex. They aren't together anymore but not because of that.
My wife's best friend in college was a taller brunette with massive DDD's and was a little thicker built, One night we were sitting at the kitchen table in their townhouse style dorm, the kitchen window face the parking lot and my wife was still my GF at the time but her friend was sitting on my lap, My wife said something about her friends tits and then somehow it ended up that I lifted the back of her shirt and unclipped her bra, She took it off and it was on the table and everyone was picking it up and laughing about how big it was.
Another night that same friend walked in on their third room mate passed out sitting on the toilet and came to my wife's room, Said she needed help so we got out of bed and went to the bathroom, The friend was sitting with her shorts around her ankles slumped forward in a shirt with no bra, I stood her up, My wife's best friend pulled her shorts up to her knees then said "Holy", My wife laughed and said "Quit lookin at her pussy", Her friend said "look", My wife looked and nodded her head saying "Ya, You didn't know she had her clit pierced?", She said "Nope, Had no idea" then pulled her shorts up and I carried her to bed.

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