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Heartbroken
So I'm not proud one bit of this and I know I probably deserve to feel like I am. My best friend's fiance of 5 years made it clear over a year ago in his behaviour around me that he was attracted to me. The three of us hang out a lot as I am single and they always include me in plans, partly I think because they don't like being together alone. Yesterday after all this time he came over to drop something off and it just happened,we kissed passionately and continued to do so for over an hour, chatting etc and I could tell he has deeper feelings for me than just physically. I've realised I feel the same. I probably knew this a year ago and suppressed it by dating. None of which was successful and he in fact used to try to put me off men I was asked out by. I know it can't go anywhere he hasn't mentioned leaving her I haven't asked him to and I don't want to lose my friend but I do not know how to get over the feelings for this man I'm consumed by this to the point I'm not eating or sleeping and I'm just crying constantly. If I start avoiding my friend she is going to suspect someone and I know it would break her heart if she knew. I catch myself looking at his social media obsessively and checking to see if he has messaged which he has a few times since yesterday. I know my worth and I have never had any intention of being anyone's side piece but this just happened and I can't forget it.
I would have fucked him by now. But I'm that girl. My best friend went through 2 boyfriends that I fucked.
Who is engaged for 5 years anyways? Just offer yourself up to him already.
Tell your best friend and ask if you can share!