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That one time
When I was maybe 13 I got assaulted by my bother’s best friend right after I got out of the shower drying off. He came into the bathroom and came up behind me and put his hands under my towel. I remember being frozen and scared but so mad at my body for deceiving me because he wouldn’t stop. He said I liked it.he kept telling me my kitty was a good girl. I remember him holding my throat from behind and smiling. Watching me in the mirror as I cried. The sad part It felt good between my legs but I didn’t want him to be touching me that way. I Masturbated here and there and that same feeling was happening between my legs but it wasn’t because I wanted it. My brother came in and sadly he just watched by the door. I was so angry at him for not helping me. I couldn’t understand why he didn’t help me but I realized he was hard and he must have liked what his friend was doing to me. When his friend was done he told me not to cry next time since I cummed for him. The walked out of the bathroom and I felt so angry at my body for getting wet and for having an orgasm even though I was being assaulted.
I never told my mom and I wanted to do bad but I was afraid I’d get in trouble since I prob should have known to lock the door while showering when my brother had his friends over.
To this day I Masturbate to those events when they are the most traumatic of my life.
I had my girlfriend's older sister she was 18 and I was 13 hold me down down while her boyfriend played with my penis and then rubbed his cock against mine while he was in top of me til he orgasmed on my belly, then she forced my head into his cock wiping the semen in my face, my girlfriend watched the whole thing and could not even talk to me for several days.
Like you I have thought about the act and have masturbated thinking about it over the years
Do you know why you do? I’ve tried to figure it out for years but never find the answer. It’s the oddest thing but my mind always goes to it and it works so well for me. Odd as can be
How long ago was that? Do you masterbate to it because you want it to happen again?
Late 20’s now. I don’t want it to happen again but my mind just goes to it often.
Your body responded to the physical actions, it's not that you wanted it to happen, but your body responded to it, but it's not your fault. When your thinking about do you do anything differently in your mind?
I’ve told myself that over the years but sometimes it’s hard to convince yourself otherwise.
No I don’t do anything differently in my mind when I think about it but I do focus on how u felt as it was happening.