I’m a married man who cross dresses for other men

So I’ve been married for 10 years. When I was in high school I secretly got into cross dressing and ended up meeting an older man that I ended up having a 2 year sexual relationship. After I got married I tried leaving the cross dressing side of me behind. Well I’ve failed at that and regularly let random guys fuck me in the ass. I know it’s wrong but I can’t help it. I love dressing up for men and pleasing them. My wife has pegged me but it’s not the same as a real cock and she says it’s weird to do that to me. Idk what to do.

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