I read his journal.. should I be concerned?

I was really really high and mad at my boyfriend, so when he left the house, I decided to read his journals from when he was in prison (non violent drug offenses) and he had entries detailing his fantasies with the opposite sex that were very.. graphic. Think about Criminal minds, the type of hate that some of those men have for women. He also mentions wishing he had made the last girl he was with do anal, whether she wanted it or not.
He's admitted to having violent fantasies but he's never done anything more than spanking/slapping/choking, even if I asked or told him he could do whatever he wanted. Sometimes if he thinks he hit me too hard, he'll stop and ask if I'm okay and apologize, he never chokes me hard enough to completely stop my breathing, even if I'm pulling his hands around me harder. He says he's scared he really will hurt me if he gets too into it. He's even tried to pretend like he didn't like anal so I wouldn't feel bad about not being into it. Like, babe, I've seen your pornhub history, we watch it together constantly. It's hard to miss "HARDCORE PAINAL" on the screen.
The journals were from 2 years ago, and after one entry, he made it clear that he was ashamed and needed help. We've been together for about 5.5 months, and I care about him more than anyone and I believe he cares about me the same way. Reading the entries sort of scared me, and I might've found it arousing if it wasn't a real fantasy of the man I slept with. I'm into the rough cnc stuff but the death bit was too much for me. Taking how he's treated me into account, should I be scared? Most of the time I don't think about it but sometimes it pops in my head and I get freaked out. I'm a true crime junkie so I'm always paranoid anyways.

7 Comments

  • newest
  • oldest
  • most replies
  • most popular
  • Convicts do not keep journals in prison. Especially one's that has him wanting to do harm to women. The other prisoners would kill him as they hate rapist's, child molesters and women abusers.
    So you where really really high when you wrote this fake story dude. Don't even start with that bull shit that you are female.

  • Psycologists often ask potentially violent inmates or those that exhibit the habit of bottling up/suppressing emotions that over time accumilate till that person explodes with potentially violent and hurtfull actions, weather it be to others or themelves. Also factor in being in an enviroment where keeping to yourself/minding your own buisness, is one of the only acceptable things. There are no pitty parties or public cry sessions for individuals. Everyone has their own things to deal with and don't want any one elses. There are people provided for by the institution, but realistically, inmates are only a case file and they will use every bit to build a psycological profile against them. They say its for someones own good, but hey if anyone is dum enough to believe that well i personally couldnt feel sorry for them. I can only say these things due to first hand experience. Trust me you cant convince a judge that graphically describing the joy you would get from putting another person in several trash bags and sinking them in the ocean, was mearly an outlet in order to prevent actual violence

  • You have a good point. I don't think a sentence should be more then 12 years.
    Prison is not for rehabilitation it is supposed to be a penalty. It should be so hard that a person never wants to go back. No more plea bargaining period. For those who commit horrible unspeakable crimes then the next penalty is death.
    Death right after conviction, not 30 years later. Then it might serve as a deterrent also.

  • Quick edit...... Imeant to say a journal is a tool psycologists use....

  • I'm a corrections officer and I can assure you some inmates keep journals. You're not wrong about inmates hating rapists and abusers etc. However inmates hate privacy invaders as much as snitches.

  • You are not a C/O, a boss, a cowboy or even a crossed out!

    If it is a normal journal that is ok. But if the other inmates find it, that could and has led to shakedowns, beatings stabbing and even death. When searching a cell only legal paperwork pertaining to their case only and not another inmates case can only be skimmed over to make sure it is theirs and no contraband is hidden in it. Everything else can be read especially if they find a kite.

    With no where to hide sick journals as they would be confiscated as soon as cell search's happen. Things like that go to the review board and can have consequences on where an inmates stays, mental health treatment and their release date.

    Second Rapists, child molesters and sexual abusers are kept in protective custody because If they where released in to general population they would be killed. Prisoners treat all sex offenders basically the same and call them CHOMO's Even hard core prisoners can't stand them! Some times that doesn't work either! Look at Jeffery Dahmer they killed him because of what he did and it was a P/K.

    Last If you are a boss then you would know detainee's don't write their criminal preferences or crimes down. That could tie them to crimes they did and got away with. If another inmate found that, then he could be put down on or pay to stay. Then he is screwed and will have to be going psych and go to psych camp to stop the beatings and shakedowns! C/O's know what that means.

  • Ted Buddy had a nice GF, as the the BTK killer.....just saying.

Account Login
Signup
Is this post inapropriate?
Is this comment inapropriate?
Delete this post?