Wrongful Desires

I know it's wrong, I feel guilty about it, and wish I could get the idea out of my mind, but I can't. For months, I have increasingly had feelings for my son, but not those a mother should have. I keep thinking about boys wanting to have sex with their mother. I wondered if my son, Jimmy, had thought of sex with me. However, I do remember he often took opportunities to see me naked. I caught him peeking in my bedroom window more than once when I had just stepped out of the shower. Even though I knew he was there, I pretended I didn't for some reason. I think I somehow liked the fact he was attracted to me. I feel I'm still very attractive, whenever I wear a lowcut blouse, I get plenty of looks.

Later week, my husband was away for a night on business and I would be home by myself. I thought about inviting Jimmy home for dinner and find out if he had ever thought of sex with me. I didn’t know just how I would start a subject with him, such as, “Did you ever want to fuck me?” Maybe it would be very embarrassing. I called Jimmy's apartment, “Hello Jimmy, dad is away on business tonight. Why don’t you come over and have dinner with me?” “Fine, Mom, I would love that. I thank you for asking.” "I love you very much. I’m looking forward to seeing you again.” I realized I loved my son, but I also wanted our love to be sexual. What if he admits he really fantasied about sex with me all these past years?

I needed some liquid encouragement to get around to asking Jimmy the big question. I decided to have a strong cocktail before Jimmy arrived and have some drinks with him, too. Jimmy arrived on schedule, we had drinks and dinner, then we sat in the living room with another drink in our hands. Jimmy said, “Mom, the dinner was delicious, and so are the drinks, but I don't think I've seen you have so many before. Are you upset about something or do you and dad have a problem?” “Oh, no, your dad and I get along fine.” Jimmy was looking at me without saying anything. He seemed to be waiting for me to continue. “Jimmy”, I hesitated and wondered if I should continue, “I’ve been wondering, remember the times you used look in my window after I had stepped naked out of the shower?”

Jimmy looked embarrassed. I said in a calm voice, "I knew you were looking, and I liked it.“ "You do remember doing that?" I said with a smile. Jimmy sheepishly responded, “I have never forgotten about that.” "Don't worry, I’ve heard boys want to see their mothers naked." I hesitated then continued, “and maybe play around with sex?” Jimmy looked at the floor as if he couldn’t face me. Even though the drinks had given me courage, I was embarrassed now. I continued, “Jimmy, I would like to know, please let us be truthful to each other, don't worry.” “Alright, Mom, I’ll admit it. I was curious about seeing naked girls. I loved you and wanted to see you naked.” Now I was getting Jimmy to talk and it was becoming easier for me to ask questions. I asked, “Did you ever masturbate thinking of me?” “Yes, Mom.” “Do you still masturbate thinking of me?” He stammered, “Sometimes."

“That’s interesting to know. I love you very much as a mother, but I had never really thought of you as a lover, until now." "Now, I see you differently, you are a handsome young man that any girl would be glad to have as a sexual partner. Are you having sex with any girls?” “Not very often. I don’t date very much because I am busy with work. and you know my job has that damn rotating schedule.” I then thought to say, “If you masturbate thinking of me, then you must think I am sexy?” “Mom, you are sexy, I’ve always thought that.” “You used to peek at me through the bedroom window. Wouldn’t it be better to see me naked without having to peek?” He was a little flustered, but said, “Sure.” I took him to the parental bedroom and after making out for the longest time, we eventually had sex.

Afterward we laid side by side with our own thoughts for awhile. Now that it was all over, I was glad I gave him a chance to fulfill his fantasizes, but I was a little upset about what we did. I was wondering how this would affect our relationship in the future. “Mom, this has been wonderful. I know it’s wrong, but I always wanted to do this. Forgive me if I have hurt you in any way. I love you very much, even more for letting this to happen." "It’s just as much my fault, maybe even more because I was the one to initiate the activities. I love you as my wonderful son and always will, but now as a lover too. I only want to do things to please you and make your life better.”

We were cuddling naked in bed when he said, “I hate to have to leave now, Mom, but I have to shower and get cleaned up, I need to be at work in two hours. Thanks for inviting me to dinner, and letting me enjoy your sexy body afterward,” Jimmy said with a big smile. "I hope we can do this again sometime when your father is gone?" "You know it mom, I can't wait for the next time you invite me over for dinner, and what happened afterward." We kissed deeply, then he left the bedroom. I heard the door shut as he left. Now alone with my own thoughts, I feel guilty about what I have done. At the same time, I feel very exhilarated to get my desires fulfilled.

2 Comments

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  • Two wrongs make a right!!

  • It is not wrong and there's nothing to feel guilty about.

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