I want to watch my GF use the bathroom

You can judge me if you want, Ive never told a soul about this and looking for some form of advice.
My gf and I use the bathroom together sometimes and just hang out and talk about our day while we do what we gotta do in there, its an interesting bonding experiance that I thought nothing of for years, because I love her no matter what.
However over the years Ive become used to doing that with her (not ALL the time but frequently enough) and I may have developed some type of sexual arousal from just watching her poop.. She has no idea that i feel this way as of right now anyway.
And its not an extreme secual attration, i dont have much of a desire to dig in the toilet when shes done and play with her crap or anything.. just want to watch her sot naturally and the smell I enjoy a little bit but can live without it. I dont need to watch it come out of her with her ass in my face (although could be fun in my eyes but i dont want to touch it afterwards just look) But Another thing im noticing is that sometimes when we cant go together due to there being family or friends over or if were in public, or if she simply wants to go alone it makes me super anxious because I know what shes doing in there but i cant be there with her or do anything about it. I want to respect her and not drive her crazy with this but its getting hard.. If were out or have company she would text me while in the bathroom and tell me what shes doing which i assume is just out of humor or just entertainment while shes droppin a load.
I know a lot of people have fetishes like this that are bathroom or poop related. However i cant find any links to the anxiety behind not being able to be around it when I want to.
I understand this is not normal and im ashamed and embarassed by it. But i cant help it.
I love her so much beyond words and want to respect her in all aspects. But need some type of coping mechanisim or relief from this strange habit ive formed.
I dont want it to stop, i want to enjoy it when apropriate. But i want the anxiety to stop when i cant be around if that makes sense.

Any advice?

Ps im a straight male for those who may ask
And my gf and i have been together almost 10 years and dont live together as of right now but will be within the next few months which May solve this problem, or make it worse. And im afraid to find out lol

Thank you for your time reading my strange story
Any type of advice would honestly mean the world to me since im afraid to ask my friends or family

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  • "it makes me super anxious because I know what shes doing in there but i cant be there with her or do anything about it."

    And?? So what??! I find it more weird that you're getting super anxious cos your missus wants to go the toilet alone. Why the fuck are you anxious? Absolutely ridiculous.

  • Yes it is
    I have this strange quirk that I dont know how to manage
    Its really stupid but its how i feel its weird

  • She caught me outride the bathroom door wanking as she was pooping. It was humiliating and she made me wank till I cummed and then she smeared it on my face. Then she said I was a dirty whore and needed cleaned up, so she made me go to the tub and she pissed all over my face to wash it off.

  • Next time she needs to feed you a big turd. Slowly so you get to savior it.

  • Thing is i have no desire to eat it
    Idk if i even want to touch it. I just like looking and observing the whole process

  • Try it when it’s cold outside and you can see some steam come off the turd as it slides out and they lays on the ground.

  • I discovered scat porn, where they have potty camps in the toilet. I love watching some Asian girl sit on the can and watch her anus open up and then see the turd start coming out, and then watch as it continues exiting her but. It's a thrill to see her bottom with at least a foot long turd coming out her ass and then watching as her pee squirts out of her vagina. They even have vidrdeos where a guy sits under a special open chair so a gal can sit down and release a turd into the guys open mouth and the watch as he gobbles up her turd. Never seen anything like this before and I kinda enjoy watching it.

  • Awesome. Try some puke porn too. It’s all Asian porn.

  • You need to start wiping her ass after she shits. Take the paper from the roll, fold it nicely and then gently clean her up. You want to do this don’t you? As you clean her ass you can then feel her taint, and the edge of her pussy lips...

  • Id love to try it. Shes let me do one time it but not for the bulk of the mess
    Only the remainder which wasnt much of anything. She does it as a joke and has no clue how i really feel about it

  • Bathroom times should be private, my wife gets upset if I walk in when she is peeing.

  • Mine doesnt seem to care, sometimes she does

  • No doubt for you it is.

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