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Honest wife advice
Weve been married 20 years, as most couples had out ups and downs. The last 12-18 months ive noticed my wife has been acting more secretive and distant? And i know were not perfect, but i know after this long when something isnt right? Once she in subtle ways didnt want me to go to her office holiday party, i said ok have fun. But was ok with it. But than i started to think about her new secretive phone behavior and looked back at how we use to text, and the quick responces i always got, but not its phone died, so busy, oh i didnt see your text, but her phone is on her 24-7? Looking back now shes been taking her phone everywhere, taking long baths or private restroom time, saying shes extremely tired, but is on her phone for an hour or two but once she hears me she gets off. The new behavior of slowly turning away so i couldnt see her phone, the loving glow on her face an not even hearing me speak to her and so attentitive to her phone. Shes on all social media and shes always said i shouldnt be, due to my sense of humor and if lady friends tried friending me? So ive never gotten on any apps or social media. It was getting worse, she was in her own world, and i was getting a little worried, so after the i walked up on her in her car, tapped on the window and observed her frantically exiting three black looking screens, she got extremely defensive and yelled why was i sneaking up on her, once i explained i pulled in right behind you with my lights on and tapped your window, thats not sneaking up, sk asked her what she was exiting acting like i was ax murderer, she looked outa sorts and than said our friend semt her a dick text? But again three dark screens? So now im on wtf mode, next evening we were hanging in the house when i went outside to do chores, noticed she got right into phone mode and didnt even hear me telling her what i was going to do. 007 mode kicked in, i gave her 20 minutes and quickly opened the door and saw that jumpy exiting of her phone, n im no crazed jealous type, and have been with her 20 years, and know how she exits her phone when chatting with her sisters or friends, i acted like nothing was going on or i didnt notice, 20 mins later same thing, quicky entered the room, and again nervously exiting her phone, i acted like nothing to see here, so now im getting worried, upset, and confused, 30 mins later i blew thru the door watched her frantically exiting screens, almost dropped her phone, thats when i had to ask. Ok hun, thats really odd, nervous phone behavior, what were you just doing on your phone?? She repeated me, so i asked again, please tell me whT you have been nervously exiting on your phone? Thinking its a simple question to answer?? Oh boy, how a marriage can change quickly after 20 years over one little question. Thsts when she got mad, extremely defensive, wouldnt even tell me, and i found out the meaning of gaslighting? She told me im seeing, or imagining it, never happened? Ect... so the next night we sat down, i explained to her all the odd behavior, she once agAin got really defensive, and said oh you think im cheating, ive never slept with anybody, how do you know? Sorry so long, anyway, i know and can feel shes lying, once i told her i cant live like this, she got off all social media, turned off all phone notifications, cried and started to go to counsiling to make her self better, and i didnt ask her to do any of that. So three months down the road, we’ve had numerous talks, thAt simple question turned into, oh i cant remember, my sister was texting me, And now its i was doing nothing? Im still lost and wondering, after months of reading and researching found out that the app snapchat can have a darker screen, and you might have to exit three times. I came home from work recently , asked her if she uses snapchat, and what is it. She said i used it years agk to make a few funny videos, and know, i dont use it, my friends dont use it, my sisters dont use it. Its only for kids, adults dont use it. And this is after i signed up for it, and when i hit find friends, imagine that, all her friends and sisters are on snd using it. But she never came up as a friend? So tried searching and wow, there she is? But weird, her number or email not showing up to be my friend? She didnt know i got on, but knew something was up, the next day i looked, her user name gone? Huummmm, so i thought that was odd, teo days later had another talk, asked her for 100% honesty, so no problem. When did you delete your snapchat acct? Oh i dont know, long time ago, like months ago? Humm , so i told her what i did.. omg, fire coming out of her eyes, throwing many f-bombs and other colorful words my way. She said cant be, hasnt been active for months, so i told her to try to login, so i watched her for 10 mins no able to figure out login, password? But finally shes in, hands nervously shaking and her phone slowly tilting away from me. She asks what do you want to see, i smiled and said, nope im good, thats all i needed, because if you deleted over 30 days ago your info would be gone... again angry hate filled response.. so my question is... wtf is that?? Im not crazy, so why wont she tell me , and is she up to no good?? Thznks if your reading, and all advice be great..
Many res flags, if you live her come up with an agreement and be open and honest with each other, if you don't care for her anymore maybe it's the to move on
This should be titled " Nervous Exiting " because there is scene after scene of that. Once she even admits getting a dick text. Goddamn, son, you're like somebody driving around on a completely bald tire and being surprised when it explodes while going over road gravel. You don't want advice, you want permission to drop her like a used condom, which is just about as big a pussy as you could ever be ! Man the fuck up !
Classic signs that she is having an affair. You already know this; you just want confirmation. I would tell her she needs to turn her phone over to you right then and give you her passwords. If not you are going to a divorce lawyer. Sorry but she's not going to give you the phone. So either you follow thru with the divorce or you demand couseling and ask the counselor to tell her she has to have an open phone policy with you, which is provide you with all your passwords and she has to hand it over any time you request it, and you do the same with your phone. If she won't do it, that is proof that the cheating continues. The open phone policy will hopefully terminate the affair. The question is, do you want to be in a marriage where you cannot trust your spouse?