Tied off and dressed up

This actually happened to me quite a few years back . I used to masturbate frequently as no matter how much sex I got it wasn't enough .
Part of my usual routine involved cross dressing . I was still in my early thirties , I was very thin and had an athletic build . I used to look pretty good dressed in black garters and a bustier , my prick would get hard and throb when I looked in the mirror. At the same time as this I was seeing an older woman I had met through family friends . She was in her fifties and was taking premarin for hormone replacement .
I didn't know and found out later that the hormones could be transferable through close contact .
Our sex usually involved lots of oral , she had a slightly enlarged clitoris (the size of the last digit of my pinky ) when I sucked her she would moan and usually squirt a little , I always swallowed her after licking her clean , swallowing everything .
After a few months of this my erections got softer, until finally my cock would elongate but not get hard , just kind of stay floppy . Also I noticed I was developing breasts . On a few occasions we had sex with me like this when I tried to enter her with my tits swinging back and forth . I couldn't . She was grinning as though she knew what was up . I don't know if she did or she just enjoyed what was happening to me.
During sex she would tell me to lay back on the couch and spread my legs , she would get between them and grind on my semi hard cock until she came then she would either masturbate me or suck me off .
I really began to feel as though I was going through female puberty .
My whole body began to respond to touching or rubbing and it would arouse me immensely . I would burst into tears for no reason other than wanting to make out with some one .
While dressing up I Started to really have castration fantasies that bordered on acting on it . One night I tied off my balls while dressed in black lingerie . I was so hypersexualized and horny along with being under the influence of the hormones that I thought to myself " I wanna get castrated I 'm wanna become a transexual ." I undid the bough they were tied in and cinched them as hard as I could . I didn't give myself an orgasm so the feelings I was having about being castrated didn't subside . I was smoking weed also and when I lay down I went to sleep .
I woke up about 4 in the morning and realized that I left my balls tied . The sexual tension and passion I had earlier disappeared . I thought to myself "oh no I might have really castrated myself ". My balls were cold and numb. I untied them as quick as I could . My poor cock immediately stood to attention at the indignity perpetrated on it . I grabbed it thinking to myself " I really castrated myself ". I began jerking off and started to shoot a clear watery cum , after only two or three strokes . It was almost like pre but I shot quite a bit , it spilled on my tummy and chest and ran off almost like water . I said out loud " I'm castrated , I really castrated my self ".
The next day I had a dry orgasm . That lasted for about a week . Then no erection at all . Finally , I lost complete interest in sex , for about a year and a half. I was pretty depressed . Over this period my ability to have sex returned ..slowly . Although I never recovered my full vigor though .

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  • Me too, when your fat you don't want to be looked at and you don't want sex and love and you don't want people making a idiot of you as if your fat clown old maid joke around town to be smerked at. all you want to do is look pretty and thin. that is all that matters apart from money of course.

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