My Cousin, my First Girlfriend

I know it's fairly common for teenaged cousins to explore each other sexually. It was around my 16th birthday that Mary and I had sex after months of flirting, petting and such. I used a condom and I had thought we had done the deed, I couldn't tell really or I don't remember. It was not an Earth Shattering feeling, probably why I hate rubbers to this day.
Mary moved away and about 4 years later she came back with a new born from some deadbeat. I was hurt. I had made a scenario in my imagination that we could move away to some town where nobody knew us and could live as a couple. what can I say, I was in love. But now she has this kid and so that went out the window. I was able to get Mary to talk about us for a few minutes and she said we never did have sex and she was ashamed of the whole thing had happened. I understand the stigma of the whole thing, but to wish that it never happened?
Now 3 decades later, I still find myself drawn to her. Tonight we were texting and I knew she had a few glasses of wine when she just came out and told me she had a new lover. I told her I don't need to hear that and she asked why. I almost came out and said flat out that I am still in love with her. I know that she knows with me saying the words. I wonder why she felt the need to tell me. To get it off her chest to the one person that she knows won't judge her? I wish i didn't find her attractive or that she wasn't in my life anymore. then it would be easy to forget the whole thing.

By Anonymous

Family CONFESSION

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