Do you think I should tell my husband?

My husband and I have been married for about a year now. We met in college (junior year) and dated for a total of 3 years before getting married. We both came from pretty strict religious backgrounds and were virgins when we met and when we got married. We each dated a couple of people before we met and “made out” a little, but nothing more serious than that. Well, sort of. My now husband and I discussed this when we met and told each other about the few people we dated. Except, I left one person off my list. Now I am feeling guilty about it. I don’t know why I’m feeling guilty now. We had this conversation about 4 years ago. The “big thing” I told my husband was 100% true, I was a virgin when he and I met and on our wedding day. But, I did more than just “make out” with this one guy I dated for a few months when I was a sophomore. Here’s what happened and my question is “Should I let my husband know I lied – or only told part of the truth – to him 4 years ago?”

I had met this man who was a few years older than I was. I was 20 at the time and he was 25. He was a very nice guy and very good looking. We dated for a while – things like movies and dinner. One night when he dropped me off at my dorm my room mates were not there and he stayed and we kissed for a while. Us kissing made me really wet, which was unusual for me. I could tell he was getting excited too. He put my hand on the bulge in his pants and then I knew for sure he was excited. I stopped things at that point and told him I couldn’t go any further. A few weeks later after going out, we went back to his place (he lived alone) and a similar thing happened. I stopped things and told him I was a virgin and wanted to stay that way until my wedding day. He said he understood, but I could tell he was frustrated and disappointed. We went out again the next weekend and wound up at his place, on the couch, making out again. We were both getting “hot and bothered” and I put a stop to things. This time he told me he knew of a way he could make me feel really, really good and I could remain a virgin. I was pretty excited and wet and reluctantly asked him what he meant. He said that he desperately wanted to eat me and make me have an orgasm. He promised he wouldn’t try to finger me or have sex with me. He just wanted to eat me. I was so excited that I was in a weakened mental state and I reluctantly said OK, not really knowing what I was in for.

He said it would be easiest if we went into his bedroom so we did. He told me to lie down on the bed and I did. He said that he needed to take my panties off (which made me pretty nervous as well as embarrassed). I had a skirt on so I slipped my panties off discretely and laid them on the bed. He picked them up and mentioned that they were wet, which embarrassed me even more. He told me to slide toward the end of the bed and lay back, so I did. I kept hoping he’d turn the lights off, but he never did. He kneeled on the floor at the end of the bed and slowly lifted my skirt up. It ended up pulled up above me waist and I was totally naked from the waist down. I was so embarrassed and self-conscious that I just closed my eyes and covered my face with my hands. He spread my legs wide apart and pressed his face against my vagina and started to lick me. Within seconds I felt things I had never felt before, incredibly pleasurable sensations shooting through my body. I am sure I started to moan and of course I got wetter and wetter. He spread my legs even wider and put his hands on my vagina, opening it up a bit. He began to lick me up and down faster and faster. He started to really focus on my clitoris. He squeezed it tightly between his lips, sucked hard on it, and licked it over and over again. Within just a few seconds of him doing that I had an orgasm – a HUGE one. I know I screamed. He stopped for a few minutes and licked me lower on my vagina. I was so wet. At one point he started thrusting his tongue in and out of my vagina. I was amazed how far he could push his tongue inside of me. I didn’t even try to stop him. He paused for a minute and I remember him saying to me “I can see your hymen and I’d love to pop your cherry right now, but I won’t.” He then started sucking on and licking my clitoris again. Within a few minutes I had another massive orgasm. At the time I really didn’t know what was happening, but I think I had a “female ejaculation” because I squirted all over his face. I was so embarrassed because I thought I had peed on him. I was exhausted at this point. He went back to thrusting his tongue in and out of me and I noticed he was pushing against the bed (sort of humping the end of the bed). After about 5 minutes he let out a pretty loud noise. I think he came in his pants because he stopped licking me. I put my panties back on and he took me home.

Should I tell my husband about this or just let it remain a secret?

- Isabelle

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