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Complex Relationship (Advice?!)
I've been in a relationship with a guy for the past two years, but he's dead from the waist down. He doesn't want to touch me, even when he is in a horny mood. So two months ago, i joined a dating site. There, i got in touch with another guy. Let's call him Mike. We agreed to be fuckbuddies and nothing more. But I'm starting to actually develop feelings for him. I want to tell both of them about the situation. 'Mike' knows that I'm in a relationship, but he doesn't know that i might love him. My boyfriend has no clue about my infidelity, and I'm left with a few choices. Do i...
A) Dump my boyfriend and continue my sexual relationship with 'Mike'.
B) Introduce 'Mike' to my boyfriend, and explain what's been going on (maybe it will be cool with him? If it isn't, I'll end up doing Choice A).
C) Dump 'Mike' and resume my relationship.
D) Tell 'Mike' how i feel, dump my boyfriend, and attempt a relationship with 'Mike'.
I don't know what to do. I know that a lot of you will just tell me that if i hadn't cheated, i wouldn't be in this situation. Or you're going to flat out insult me... But since i am, and things did turn out like this, I'm looking for honest advice.
Option D
Be honest with your guy, presumably, he has been there for you in other ways and there was something that brought you two together and I am certain once there were good times. He does not need to know anything other than you have fallen out of love with him. That being said, if you talk it out and you say to him that you feel like he doesnt love you because he doesnt touch you, give him an honest chance to fix it. What you feel for mike may not be what you think but merely a reaction to the way things are right now. Loving someone is a complicated thing and sometimes you have to take the good with the bad but being open and as honest as will not cause anyone pain while remembering the good times and the times he has been there for you might get you the insight you want. Be honest with yourself, how much of this is you not being able to open up about what you need sexually and how much is the risk and adventure... the naughty factor?
Remember, the kindness you show someone today might be the kindness they show you tomorrow.
Seems like option B is the way to go. You obviously need sex, and maybe he will be cool with you getting it elsewhere, but you never know until you ask. Worst case scenario, he walks away and you're left with just Mike. If that happens, see if your feelings continue after the boyfriend is out of the picture before telling Mike how you feel, they may disappear after Mike is the only thing in your life. If you do tell Mike how you feel, accept that he may walk away first. Some guys do not respond well to a relationship being redefined.