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Haunting my dreams since childhood
Since I was a small child I've had dreams about being abducted. Not nightmares, just dreams. Sometimes when I woke up before I got to the end I would go back to sleep just to try to continue it. When I was a child I always saw the people in my dreams wearing hoods or masks, and as I got older I started seeing more of a male form. Not some ridiculously gorgeous model or anything either. Just muscular men.
I dream that they take me away from my home, someplace completely new. Someplace with rules and expectations. Someplace I'm wanted. Yes there was sexy involved but that's not what draws me to it.
I have a boyfriend whom I love, I'm a young girl with a lot going for her. But a part of me still wishes it would happen. Being abducted, taken, it's almost like I want to, need to, feel fear to get to any other emotion. I've tried roleplaying, but it's never been enough. They're all too weak minded.
I don't know what to do anymore. It's something I've always felt a draw to even though I know it's not healthy. I would have no problem leaving my current life behind. I don't know what I want or need but it's more than this.
I'm not gay, but I posted something like this a few wks ago. Growing up, I thought about being kidnapped and me making a deal with the leader, that I'd suck his dick all he wants (and someone else's of my choosing) if he promised not to hurt me.