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I don't want to be cheating, but...
I've been with my bf for almost 5 years now and we love each other very much, but the sexual chemistry just isn't there anymore (at least on my side). He's asian (so am I ) and I discovered that I'm really into white guys.. especially Europeans - I like the type of lover that they are.
Over the last 2 - 3 months, I have met several guys who know the situation and have slept with 7 different guys. I now have 4 ongoing Friends with Benefits relationships with some really attractive white guys and I'm scared because I've developed an emotional attachment to these guys. They don't know about each other..and I get the feeling that a few of them have started hoping that they would turn into something more than sex friends.
Sometimes I feel like such a slut... I really don't like the fact that I'm cheating, it doesn't feel like me, but I've tried breaking up with this guy and last time I tried, he tried to kill himself.
What does a horny girl have to do?
You're a weak person because you are permitting yourself to be manipulated. If you leave him and he kills himself, that's his responsibility, not yours. By being an enabler of his manipulative behavior, you are hurting him, not helping him.
You should just leave your boyfriend. You've already shown that you don't care about him, and he deserves to be with someone who does.
You need to go with what you feel inside. If you want to dump your bf, do it. You can't be responsible for how he feels; that's his responsibility. Do what's right for you. Some people simply need more than one sex partner, and it's OK to feel that way.
Whenever I sensed a guy seeming to want more relationship, I always broke it off. Otherwise they do something stupid and you get caught. Drop those guys now using any excuse they will believe. There are always other guys who will be happy to just service you. In my experience, soldiers and firefighters are the most reliable fuck buddies.