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O killed the bird
In between classes sophomore year, I would meet my girl at her apartment. She lived alone except for her parakeet. If there was time, we would get busy. This one time she rode on top of me on her couch. I wore this thing called a penis ring that her friend had bought for her. It's hard to describe. Like an accessory to a condom. I didn't think it would do anything. But it did. She came so loudly that her parakeet dropped dead. Poor bird.
THEY SHOULD HAVE PUT A WARNING LABEL ON THAT THING