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Sexually Frustrated
I'm gay and have been with my partner for 12 years now.. He is my best friend and such a wonderful person and treats me great.. The problem is that we haven't had sex with each other in years.. The sex was ok for the first few years, then we got to the point where we played around with others together. That was a lot of fun. I've cheated on him a few times in the past and know its wrong but I'm so damn horny all the time. I'm simply just not attracted to him anymore.. He has aged really quickly and doesn't seem to care.. We are the same age but I look 15 years younger.. I keep telling myself that he is who I should grow old with, but the thought of leaving has crossed my mind... I don't think I could live with myself if I hurt him. His family is a piece if shit and I'm all he really has.. I've hinted around that I'm not happy sexually, but its so uncomfortable to discuss.. I really wish he would just let me fuck around on the side.. I would be ok with that.. Even if he is not into me anymore, is be fine with him playing around on the side. Everything else is great with the exception of the sex. Does anyone have any advice?
You identified your entire problem in the first sentence. You are gay and have a male partner. You need to fight off the evil gayness and find yourself a female partner. Only then will you find true happiness and satisfaction in life. You have chosen a lifestyle that can only lead to unhappiness and unfulfilled desires.
It's going to be uncomfortable but you need to have an adult conversation with him about it. Staying miserable isn't going to be healthy for either of you. Maybe he'll allow you to sleep around or maybe you'll find out why he has no sex drive. Who knows maybe sleeping around will invigorate your sex life. But nothing will change if you do nothing. Good luck!
Ask him a direct question with an open ended answer. “Our sex life sucks. What do you think we should do about it?”. If he doesn’t answer then offer suggestions like opening up your relationship. Just don’t start with an ultimatum. Only end it that way if need be.
Sex isn’t everything. If he’s been a loyal partner you can’t back up and go just for that. Find an occasional dick to suck and pound your penis
He sounds like he's depressed. You say he's not taking care of himself and not interested in sex..those are signs of depression. Is he drinking or taking drugs? Is he cheating? Stop hinting and have that conversation. It's important for the benefit of your relationship. Maybe seek couples counseling, maybe your partner would feel safer in a different environment.
OMG! I have the same exact situation! Everyone including friends say you should move on and think of you. But your compassion for others is very strong. There is no answer! Whatever you choose someone will be hurt.
Sadly, I haven't moved out either.
Get a dildo. Better yet, get a male dog and let it scratch your itch for you.