Lost custody of my son for years then we reconnect and had sex.

I had a bad drug problem when my son was about 4 yrs old. CPS took him away and his father got him, then got lawyered up and fought me for permeant custody. I moved to the U.K. for a while, so I wasn't in a position to have visitations anymore, and just came back earlier this year.

It's been ten years, we finally reconnected and were allowed to have visitations with him again, this time without supervision and have weekend custody a couple of times per month. I'm not sure what really happened, that first night that he stayed, I didn't have a proper bedroom setup.

He seemed like he was perfectly happy to sleep with me in my bed. We cuddled for a while, then it just kept progressing. The more we kissed, the more bare skin that we touched, the closer I felt to him. I have yearned for that feeling again for so long.

This wasn't like a typical sex thing because I'm horny or anything, it felt deeper in a way I can't explain. It was like I felt that I had to have him inside me in order to re-bond with him. We never said a word, we just kept kissing and caressing.

The clothing came off, I let him suck on my nipples like he did when he was a baby. It made me feel whole again. Especially once he entered me, I was surprised that he felt larger than I remember his father being.

In a strange way, it was like birthing him all over again, except this time it felt good, really good. It felt more natural than I ever would have thought otherwise. I could feel his power with each thrust, and it surprised me how hard he could thrust his hips into me. It was like having one long orgasm.

After he finished, I held his face to my left boob while he licked it and just held him inside me like that for as long as I could until he went limp, and it slipped out on its own despite my struggle to keep it in. I knew that first night that I shouldn't let him put his seed in me, but I couldn't help it. Now I'm relying completely on my birth control but when he comes it just feels amazing even though I can't actually feel his seed in me, I can just feel his spasms when she shoots it, and it makes me feel good. I never felt like that specifically with anyone else.

We didn't say anything. It just suddenly became a bi monthly thing. Now I don't even know how to stop it. I know that I should, but it's just become this unspoken thing that we share. I know it's horribly wrong, but yet it felt so natural. Probably the most natural feeling of sex that I'd ever had. Yet I know it has to stop, and I'm not even for sure what "it" is that we're experiencing here.

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