I think I am gay but don't know who to tell

Ever hear of this new concept called, going OutSide, going places to meet people ??? Parks, Shops, Sports events. Etc.

I sucked my first cock and swallowed his cum when was 12 yrs old. He was maybe in his mid 30's. He worked for my parents and uncle on our ranch. He took my anal virginity when I was 13 yrs old. I became his love slave morning, noon, night time, or when ever we could get away together.
But he was asked to leave the employment of our ranch when I was 17 yrs old.
Now, 36 yrs old, married, two daughters. I'm still gay, but my parents, siblings, wife, and daughters have no idea. I still have a couple of guys friends that are married. They will meet up with me a few time a month. I'll do things for them that there wives won't. Suck there cocks. And let them have anal sex with me.

I’m in the same boat man. I’ve been a closet homosexual since I can remember. I have one bud who’s clean and safe who bends me over and barebacks me couple times a month. The wife has no idea I am always thinking about men when I fuck her. Always. Lucky she like it from behind 😂

How old are you?

Staring seventh grade this year.

I was like in eight grade when I had my first time with a way older guy. I still liked girls to some degree but when it came actually having sex, I've been like into boys. As I got older my attraction still stayed with teens. The hardest part is not getting found out.