I HAVE to get my ass pounded in order to orgasm

Hey. I’m Leah and my first time posting I’m 19, long blonde hair, brown eyes, 5’3, 96lbs ( yes I know I’m skinny) but I do have ass, like a really plump ass. My weird confession is that I can not cum while having sex unless I’m getting my ass destroyed. I can cum by myself no problem. I can cum with a man if I rub my clit for so long, put it in my ass and I gush because I get so turned on. I can’t tell my shrink. Even I know it’s crazy. I was raped for months then once more some years back. I was young and it stems from that. I hate that’s the reason and I don’t quite understand why.

I was in middle school at a friends house one weekend. Her dad really liked me. He had me jerk him off one time while he touched me. I loved watching him cum and felt so adult. Obviously it was a big secret. The second time, he was supposed to let me suck it. Late at night, with my friend asleep, he took me to the basement. He said how he loved me and wanted to feel me and how he wanted to make love to me. I felt okay with it. On the couch he spread my legs, rubbed his dick on me. He stopped and said that he couldn’t take my virginity but I wouldn’t have to in my ass. He coached me on how to relax, he put on lube and started. It hurt bad, but I put on a brave face. I said I loved it when he asked and finally got to suck it and taste cum. It became often and it was like the pain stopped because I disassociated so hard. It got to the point that he would grab my shoulders and slam it in over and over until he came. It’s funny that years later, he had vaginal sex with me after I lost my virginity and that hurt much worse.

The second was at my first boyfriend’s house. His parents were never home so once he took my virginity, we had sex there a lot after school. He had two brothers. One of them was 20something. He commented on us having sex often. He was drinking with his friend one day and barged in when we were just getting done having sex. I was naked in his bed. His brother and his friend told me to stay there, they wanted to give me “real” dick. He asked my bf if he would mind and pushed him on the bed. He was scared of him. When they both were hard next to my face, I sucked like they wanted. Much bigger than my bf. His brother opened my legs and complimented my cute hole, then fucked me. He told his brother to listen to me scream, how I needed big cocks. I was bent over and fucked too hard. I begged for them to go softer, my bf even said something. No one knew about my friends dad. So it surprised everyone when I screamed to fuck my ass. They told my bf that he had a good bitch. I got pushed off when he came to be used again to cum. I was told to scream that I loved big cock in my asshole. My bf never looked at me the same after.

Recently I’ve been saying since a bad break up. Sex is fun but that’s all. I met Keith and he changed my life. We were having sex. I was playing with my clit trying to cum. He pulled out too fast and it popped in my ass. I yelped, he apologized. I told him to go. I came twice before him. The next time, we did only anal, very hard and I came so much that I lost count. Now, I’ve had sex with 5 more men. All of them I’ve told to fuck my ass and I’m having the best sex I’ve ever had. I love an older cock in my ass. Feels so dirty but I love it.

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